Can a child go by an assumed name in first grade??

Question

i got divorced when my daughter was 8 months old. i got re-married a month after she turned three. my now husband has raised her since then, although she does still have a relationship with her real dad. he gets her for a weekend here and there. my now husband and i have two other children together that of course have his last name, as do i. my daughter wants to know why she doesn't have the same last name as we all do...and i told her it's because i used to be married to her daddy and he gave her his last name when she was born. well, i talked to her dad about it, and to make her feel better, he is okay with her using a hyphen after his last name and adding my now husband's last name...so she would go by Avery Pearson-Fulks. he isn't to hot on the idea of adoption though. she starts school on wednesday and will be in the first grade. is it okay legally to ask them to call her Avery Pearson-Fulks? we plan on getting the name changed legally, but it won't be done for a while so could they just call her this until it's made to be her real name? i hope this is not to confusing.

Answer 1

Don't do that. You should keep her name the same as her real dad. If he still has a relationship with him it makes no sense to change her name.

Answer 2

I wouldn't do it.  First of all, your daughter still has a relationship with her dad.  How would you feel if the tables were turned, and you were in your ex's shoes?  Secondly, your husband isn't big on the idea of adopting your daughter.  If he doesn't want to be her legal father, then she shouldn't bear his name.  

By the way, you'll need Dad's (biological, that is) permission to change her name in the future.  

Answer 3

I don't think they will unless it is legally changed...if your husband and ex-husband are ok with the name change..why don't you just go ahead and do it? She can still have the name if your husband doesn't adopt her....my nieghbor is going through the same thing...she has an 11yr old daughter and just got married 3yrs ago and had another baby....same thing, kid felt weird having a different last name but husband doesn't want to adopt her cause GOD FORBID they get a divorce then he would be legally responsible for her and he doesn't want that...but she can have the same last name and not be adopted by him...so I think that is the route they are going....

Answer 4

Within my school district, a child has to be by the name on their birth certificate until it is legally changed. We have had children called by their "new" name their parents request to the teacher. I would communicate to her teacher about your wishes and that you want your child to get used to writing her name. If she is in any grade lower than second, writing sometimes can be a tall order to learn that long of a name. Good Luck. I am glad your former husband is in agreement. That always helps!