Can a fiance's parentsl do this?

Question

well my fiances parents tries to control me and i hold my tonge so that i dont make things worse on my man. he is 19 and i am 18. so what can i say? or do?

Answer 1

stay engaged for a while and then get married in 3 years.

and yes his parents will be around as long as you are with the guy so keep that in mind.

i dont think its young to be engaged at the age you are--im 19 almost 20 and my bf said he wants to get engaged to me soon..we have been going out for two years...so yeah i am young but stay engaged for a while, work through the problems and then get married :) thats wat i think

Answer 2

What exactly are they doing?  They can only control you if you let them.  They can only control your fiance if he lets them.

If you both can't handle this situation in a mature way, maybe you are too young to be engaged.

Answer 3

Yes!!!   I'm not a parent, but I grew up with good, very involved and supportive parents.  Looking back, I knew nothing at 19.  I'm glad my parents intervened when I was going to make a serious decision.  IMO, you are not an adult at 19.  You are still a young and very naive.  You still need parental guidance.  

In the future, if my 19 year old son tell me he's getting engaged, I'd lock him in his room.  Not before college, a steady job and some savings!!!   This would especially true if I felt the girl he was bringing home was unsuitable for him.  

It seems his parents don't like you, why?  Why are you pushing marriage on a young man?  Are you pushing him into and unfavorable future?  Perhaps his parents feel you are ruining his life?   If that's the case, back off Missy!!!  

I agree with his parents!! Too young to be thinking about marriage and too young to be involved with a girl that has no respect for his parents or for his future.  You only seem like you want to trap him into marriage at a young age.

I think young kids need to make mistakes.  But, there is a difference between making normal, everyday mistakes and making life alternating ones.  

If this was something like, he wanted to get a tattoo.  I would agree it's not his parents business.  If he gets something like that, ohhh well. He'll have to live with it, but it's not life changing.  Marrying someone at 19 is!!!!

Answer 4

Hi what do you mean by control you? do you mean they're planning the wedding for you? Also are you american?

Answer 5

Uhhmmmm..the parents "try to control you" ...uhmmmm maybe they are just trying to give you CHILDREN some logical advice?? And you say he asked you to marry him 'without you saying a word"? again - DUH - I guess you said "YES" because you call him your fiance! You sound far too immature to be engaged to anyone and sure enough too immature to move in with anyone so, in that case, I'd agree with the parents ;You're ruining his life and you're ruining your own. Go hime to your own parents until you grow up a lot more.And until you learn to spell and write and explain yourself.

Answer 6

You need to bring your fiance into the mix.  They are his parents and he needs to show himself to not only be a man but also that you are number one in his life.

Answer 7

talk to you fiance. it should be him that approaches his parents.  You are both adults now he should be able to confront his parents about this.  Let him know how you feel and if he won't stand up to them ask yourself if this is how you want the rest of your life to be.

It's good that you hold your tongue to them, but you need to be open with him (not as an attack on his family, but more of "this is how I feel and I don't think it's fair to me, I would really appreciate if you stood up for me and let them know how I feel as I feel it's over the line if I were to say it" or something along those lines.

good luck hun!

Answer 8

You are both over the age of 18, so you can do what you like. However, if you are going to marry the man, you need to remember that his parents will be there for the rest of your married life. It's best to find a way to try to get along with them if you can.  

Answer 9

do what you want!

Answer 10

tell you boyfriend what you think  now before things get worse

Answer 11

DO NOT LET THEM OR ANYONE ELSE CONTROL YOU!  Yes you are a bit young but always stand your ground.

Answer 12

You are too young to be married. Seriously, the chances of you divorcing before you are 25 are waaaayyyyy not in your favor.  

Answer 13

How are they trying to control you?

Answer 14

well you are not married yet,so they could be trying to ruin it for you two.

Answer 15

I think both, you and your fiance are still way too young to get married. Enjoy your lives as boyfriend and girlfriend, that way you won't have to deal that much with your in-laws. Advice: don't hold yourself back from expressing yourself towards your in-laws. This will create more problems for you. Simply try to find a way to talking to them without generating any arguments. Example: tell them that you'll listen to them, but they have to give you the opportunity to express yourself as well. Good Luck and don't get married just yet....

Answer 16

Welcome to life with in laws. If you really love this man, you have to welcome everything that comes with this marriage: the good, the bad.. and the in laws.  

Answer 17

I can tell you that they are probably trying to control you because you're YOUNG!!!  People think at 18 that they are immediately mature and grown up...  Guess what?!?!  You're NOT!!!  I know I wasn't.  I just got engaged at 28 years old!  I was incredibly immature and NOT an adult until I got to about 25 or so, then I really grew up a lot.  You;re still a kid!  Do you live with them or your own parents or on your own?  There could be many reasons you feel they are controlling, but usually adults who care only have the best intentions for you.  Maybe you should listen to them a little bit.

Answer 18

no, if you dont act now he will always run to them for help. Show him who's really in control, before its too late