Can a man be macho and not a jerk?

Question

I've seen some negative posts by women about Machismo. I think it's possible to be macho and not a pig. I think women are equal, h**l in a relationship I lean towards female Led ones. But I have a deep voice, like football, prefer beer over wine, would rather have a steak then tofu, prefer westerns over lifetime...

Answer 1

Yes.

Answer 2

I think the idea of machismo would offend at least some percentage of men and women as the adjectives surrounding it are dominating, aggressive, etc...characteristics of a jerk.

Answer 3

I don't think so. It's possible to be masculine and not be a jerk.

The word "macho" has such negative connotation to me. I picture a swaggering, braying idiot with gold chains and an open shirt, boasting about how much he paid for his car, not realizing that everyone is laughing at him behind his back. To me, "macho" means smarmy and cheesy.

Answer 4

Most definitely.  I prefer my men somewhat macho.  Jerk is about an attitude, anyone can be a jerk.

Answer 5

The first thing that you have forgotten is that WOMEN say this and say that but what does it mean, very little

If you listen to what women say, and do what they say, they become unhappy with you

You get nowhere, they don’t want you

You only ever succeeded when you be yourself, and do what you need to do and want to do

For every woman that rejects you there are 10 that wants you

There are guys on death row getting women, its Childs play

Be who you are comfortable at been, tell the ones that don’t like it to get lost

They don’t ever have any compunctions at telling you if the shoe is on the other foot!!

Answer 6

Depends on what you mean by 'macho' doesn't it?

I know no woman who objects to a man who has a deep voice (many of us find that a turn-on), like football, prefer beer over wine, don't like tofu, etc.

Heck, I know quite a few women who like football, prefer beer to wine, and strongly dislike tofu.

When women complain ab out 'macho' men, that's not what they're talking about at all. There are a LOT of men who refuse to consider women as human. THAT'S the problem, not whether you like beer.

As for myself, though I'm not at all into spectator sports, and prefer wine to beer (though I have been known to down some beers, too), I do NOT do tofu. (Fond of steak, as well as other proteiny substances.) I don't like either Westerns OR lifetime (slasher movies? Bleach!).

My oldest brother loves football, usually chooses beer over wine, and wouldn't touch tofu with a 20-foot pole (inflation, you know).

He's "macho" in some senses. But he's a human being, who understands that all human beings are human beings. THAT'S what matters.

The machismo you see women complaining about is the "You exist solely to b ring me beer and spread your legs. NOTHING else."

What genuinelyy human being WOULDN'T find that disgusting?

Answer 7

Yes : )

Answer 8

You are not describing "toxic masculinity" - look it up.  That's what makes these men into miserable jerks, not a beverage preference.

Answer 9

I think a man can be what you describe and not be a jerk, but I don't know if what you say makes you 'macho', as such.  I prefer pints to wine glasses, like football and who wants to eat tofu or watch lifetime?  (no offense).

I would define macho as being different from manly things like having a deep voice - it's more about the image you present to others, like the difference between being hard, and being able to defend yourself.  So I guess there's nothing inherently wrong with being macho, but it's all about how much it matters to you what other people think.  If macho is just the way you come accross, then that's who you are, but if a person was putting on the macho act, they very well might come across as a jerk, or trying too hard  :-)

Answer 10

I think you are playing with semantics like Abbott and Costello's famous "Who's on First?" routine:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Watf8_Rf5...

To really communicate, it is better to make an attempt to acknowledge the speaker's meaning of a word.  Many times, as a ploy, people can try to dodge an issue or undermine communication by pretending to redefine the word as something different than what the speaker means it to be in the middle of the discussion.  For example, the word machismo is most commonly recognized as male bravado, especially in exaggerated displays of masculinity to attract the opposite s*x, as male chauvinism, male ego-fragility, excessive alpha male displays of masculinity, as male sexist notions of superiority over women, etc.  That word does not carry a positive connotation even among educated men. That meaning holds true in mainstream society, in psychology and literature, such as how playwright Tennessee Williams describes character Stanley Kowalski, "the egotistical brother-in-law in A Streetcar Named Desire" who rapes his wife's sister, as mentioned in the wiki description of machismo.  So, when someone is discussing machismo from that perspective, the ploy to derail the discussion by redefining machismo rather than remain honorably focused on the larger issue can undermine rational discussion and analysis.  To discuss healthy and noble "male gender" qualities and call them "macho" is a failure to honorably acknowledge some behaviors that are not so noble that can manifest in some men that are actually more associated with that word. I prefer to focus on more noble human qualities, too, such a man's ability to rationally and honorably carry on a discussion without ploys of semantics.

Answer 11

What people (most of the users in here) don't understand is that there is nothing wrong with being mainly. All the men I have dated have deep voices, like football, prefer beer over wine, and love to eat steak (or don't watch life time, h**l I don't even watch it myself). The fine line between being "macho" and being an @$$ is drawn when some men start to believe (and act) on the notion that being a "macho man" includes being rude, arrogant, sexist, aggressive in nature, and feeling like all women are beneath them.

No one is asking (or telling men) not to be "macho" or manly, most of society just wants a lot of men to understand that you can be secure in your man hood and not try to make everyone around you (mainly women) feel as though they're nothing because you do manly things, or things that are considered manly in your eyes, and have a p***s vs. a v****a.

I think the majority of the women I've talked too and know personally enjoy healthy relationships with men who demonstrate these qualities, because most of us watch football, drink beer and eat meat (not every woman is on a crash diet). We just don't want to get a beat down if the Giants beat the Bears or if the steak he's eating isn’t seasoned to his liking. h**l, I watch a good game of football, coming from Texas I grew up watching football, my brothers and cousins played football all through out high school and college. Just don't make it seem like because I'm a woman I know nothing of the sport because I don't or haven't played it. (I know what a first down is, I know what 1st and goal means.)

You can be "a man" and do all these things and still love, cherish, and respect the woman you're with. A lot of men (and some women) need to understand what qualities really makes a man a man before they assume that just these likes and dislikes alone is what defines a man as a whole. I'll bring you a beer during half time and cook us both a steak, just don't treat me like an animal because we don't have the same reproductive organs.  We’re both human, we both need affection, and (may some people in here agree with me or not) we both need one another. Remember, some of the things that men enjoy doing, we also like to do participate (and I’m not just talking about s*x). I'ts not about who's dominiate in the relationship, it's about if the two people in the relationship love, cares for, trust, and respects one another.

Answer 12

Yes, just as it is possible to be too feminine and not a sap.

Answer 13

I'd call you a real man as opposed to a macho.  You like guy stuff and you are not a jerk.