Can a relationship last when your other half is a mama's boy?

Question

My fiance' spends a ridiculous amount of time at his mom's house and it's starting to bother me.

Besides seeing him cuddle with his mother on two separate occasions (he lay in her lap, she rubbed his head right in front of me), he will drive 45 minutes out of his way just to get a hot meal on the nights I'm working late - AND (this isn't quite as extreme) will go over there 3 times a week for breakfast if he's working in her part of town on a given day. He puts his mom on a pedestal and even told her the day after we got engaged "no one will ever take your place." Last weekend at a family function, he even nudged her arm and winked at her. Is that weird, or is it just me?

We have our arguments now and then but I'm feeling like he must be getting something from his mother that he's not getting from me, such as perpetual praise and never an ounce of criticism. In his 29 years of human life he and his mother have not once EVER had a disagreement and perhaps that's why he's always over there.

What's normal and what's not? Where should the line be drawn?

I've tried talking to him about this before, and when I bring it up it only gets worse. He just says, "If you don't like it - tough. I'll go over there any time I want."

All I know is, it's going to ruin our relationship if his mom is always riding shotgun and I'm always in the back seat.

Answer 1

Where to start. Its too much and it would upset me. I still have similar arguments with my husband of 10 years and his mother has been dead for 17, but he still compares. the biggest plus side is he is a fantastic father, he can give them the same love his mother gave him. However way don't you spend allot of time with family or friends and see how he likes it.

Answer 2

That's a psychological problem on his part.  An Oedipus complex.

He needs help, and you need to get out of that relationship fast.  Faster would be even better.

Can you imagine having children, and his mother running your household, and telling you how to be a good mother?  Don't for one second think this won't happen.  "Mommy knows best!"  Hasn't he proven that to you already?

It's going to hurt, but not a fraction of how much when children and a divorce and a meddling mother-in-law are all tied up in court and life.

RUN!!!!!

Answer 3

I think it is completely fine. I am also really attached to my mother but on the other hand I'm a girl. It's not completely weird for him to sit on her lap. From what I have read, he doesn't get to see her a lot. I cant go for a day with out talking or seeing to my mother and some people might say that you should just talk on the phone with them because it is the same thing, but its not. I want to know that my mother is safe and there is nothing wrong with her and plus, I love to feel her energy and just talk and be around her. I completely understand were he is coming from and your just going to have to get use to him being babied by his mother. I know you sound like you don't like it much but he isn't going to change no matter how old he happens to be.

I hope you have a better understanding of all of this.

JB

Answer 4

no you can't make a relationship last if he is a mamas boy....  

Answer 5

I had a friend whose boyfriend would actually spend the night cuddled in bed with his mother.  They are married now and I don't know if things have improved but I sure hope he doesn't still cuddle with mommy.  These kind of mother-son relationships make me sick.  You can't be a mother and a girlfriend.  The mother needs to back off.  I would never date a man who still needed to cuddle with mommy.  I say RUN... FAST.

Answer 6

WIERD!!!!!

Answer 7

no my first husband was a mama's boy we divorced she could have him

Answer 8

Just one word (for the brits)  'Bitty'  (yuck)

My son and I are close, but we know where to draw the line between been mother and son, and been creepy.  

I have been in a relationship similar, and it didnt work out.  Mainly because it became apparent that if ever we argued, they would discuss it and she would tell him how to respond.  When we moved house, he sneaked her around BEFORE me to get her approval first.

Guess what, when we split up he went straight back to hers and hes still there to this day.  Yuck.