Can any one give me advice for my first Marine deployment (HE'S Leaving)?

Question

My boyfriend will be leaving in February for deployment. I have been told that there are many things that I may not be prepared for as a civilian and never having dealt with military life ever. Is there something I should be reading to know a bit more? Should I get him something to give to him before he leaves? (Rules, regulations, preparation, etc.) What type of things should I send to him once he's there-or can I even SEND him anything? What should I expect?

I think she was right about me not knowing. I'm a bit scared, a bit in denial and a bit upset about it all. One things for sure:I DO LOVE HIM and want to stick by him. I'm just trying to make the process a bit easier for he AND I.

Thanks!

Answer 1

The FRG (Family Readiness Group) can be a big help for you.  This is a group that the command allows for the families of the service men and women serving in that unit.  It's run by an elected board with the wives of some of the higher ranking people as advisers.  The FRG is there to help the families deal with military life and to help the command disseminate information.  Not all commands allow girlfriends to take part.  Have you boyfriend check if his does.  If they do he can add you to his paperwork as someone allowed to have information and ask the ombudman or key volunteer to contact you with their information.  Even though you're not close to the base the group may still be helpful over the phone and through the internet depending on how they're set up.

The ombudsman or key volunteer is a good person to know.  (S)he's a spouse who volunteers with the command to help the families.  This person attends training to know what resources are out there for the families and will usually be in pretty close contact with the command even when they are deployed.  Again, your boyfriend has to have you on his paperwork as authorized to get information for her to work with you but she's a vital link to information.  And remember: volunteer!  Be nice to her even when you're frustrated.

OPSEC (OPerational SECurity) rules are important.  You don't want to be the person who gives away key information so be aware what you're saying.  http://military-space.org/faq.php?id=7  http://www.marriedtothearmy.com/army_101...

If he doesn't get guidelines from his unit for care packages then these links should give you some ideas:  http://www.callie-jaye.com/sicarepackage...  http://www.operationmilitarypride.org/pa...  You're sending this out of country so you'll have to fill out a customs paper.  Now here's the touchy place.  You're supposed to list what goes into the package on that slip.  But it gets put outside the package for anyone to read.  These boxes go to the military post office where they get put on military transports to get to the units.  Sometimes expensive items (like video game systems) go missing.  So be careful what you send.  

Sometimes having support of other military spouses is important.  Being away from base makes it harder but you can find that support online.  Look on Yahoo Groups, MySpace, Facebook and anywhere else you might network for groups.  You might find spouses and girlfriends from your BF's unit online.  Or near his base.  Or near you.  A few of the bigger national groups are http://www.sgtmoms.com/home.asp, http://www.cinchouse.com/home.asp and http://www.military.com/Community/Home/1...

Answer 2

I was in the same situation as you a couple months before (my boyfriend who's a Marine just deployed in March...this was our first deployment as well)

Here's what I did...

-I read as much Marine literature as I could, it helped me get use to some of the terms and lingo that they use and helped me understand what exactly my hunny was doing (as far as his MOS and what his job in the Marines entitled him to do)

I also read up on the war in Iraq, so that I would have knowledge of what was going on over there (I had a basic idea but I read up more on it and it gave me a very clear idea of what was going on)

**I found out the more informed I became the less I worried (I mean don't get me wrong I still worry)

-STAY BUSY, I read that your in school and that is GREAT! I enrolled in a massage therapist program and went back to school for that and let me tell you for how busy I was it really did help take my mind of him being gone...so school and hobbies are a excellent to have when your man is away on deployment because not only does it show him that your living your life but it also makes you a better person.

-I LOVE planning little surprises in the packages I would create for him every month (this can take up time too and give you something to do that will benefit both of you) Write him love letters, send him some comforts of home, lots of pictures, I sent my Marine a St. Christopher medal to keep in his pocket while he is over in Iraq...((St. Christopher is the Saint who is the protector in travels...I noticed you mentioned wanting to get him something before he left, a little trinket that he can put in his pocket, or a small wallet size photo of you and him is perfect))

-TYPES OF THINGS TO SEND HIM:

BABY WIPES LOTS, AND LOTS AND LOTS OF BABY WIPES...

I can not stress this enough, they use them for a lot of different things over there and my boyfriend and his brother were always asking for them in care packages...

Any food item that has a long shelf life and will stay good in heat...so think dried fruit, beef jerky, crackers, store bought cookies, candy, gum, granola bars, protein bars, gatorade mix, protein mix, ect ect...

Hygiene products to send-q-tips, baby wipes, small travel size frebreeze, lysol, hand sanatizer, sunscreen, aloe vera gel, lotion with no scent, disinfecting wipes, chap stick (their lips and skin can get very dry), socks, underwear, camping cup that can be broken down to save space in pack, electric razor for when they are out in the field...

-Fun items-magazines, books, any fun thing your guy likes (make sure it isn't something huge that will take up to much space in his pack)

Answer 3

I suggest you get with his unit's family support group.  They have alot of this type of information and help with the obvious support issues.

You love him, you're scared and rightfully so.  However, it's best you that you're strong since in his circle of influence, whatever you feel is likely to rub off on him.

Be positive.  DO ask questions.  Do seek the FSG or similar groups in the Marines.  Don't get angry.  Do voice concerns but do it with a calm, collective demeanor.  

And February is a bit off, enjoy the time you have.

Answer 4

just try and stay busy as much as you can. being in grad school will help! my husband and i are near the end of our first deployment right now and it is hard..but it does get easier as time goes by. we were not married before he left (we got married on leave) and before he left we bought our wedding bands and wore them everyday. you can send almost everything to him. take lots of pictures now of the two of you. you can then make a small scrapbook and send it to him while he is gone. i send my hubby some of his favorite food and drinks and bake goods. i've never lived on base so i am not sure about the resources there. be prepared for him to be in a bad mood sometimes. you are going to have to give him a lot of support and be understanding of his bad moods. try and not to worry about him to much and write him lots of letters while he is gone. the first month or two will be hard but then you two will get in a routine. you will find time to talk that works around his work and your school and you will get used to him being gone and having an internet/phone relationship. good luck with everything and enjoy the time that you two have left before he leaves....we are 11 months into this deployment and it honestly feels like it has flown by! i am sure it will feel the same for you at the end!

Answer 5

Welcome to the military life! Its hard and it sucks but there are lots of us in your position or who have been in your position.

Before he leaves just spend lots of time together... Take pictures (you can send them while he's deployed)... Get on-line and find some support groups since you aren't close to base (if you're on Facebook there are tons!)

Once he's gone keep yourself busy... go out with friends, pick up a new hobby, take some extra classes, get a 2nd job, spend time with your family (and if you're close to his then spend time with them too!).

Once he's stationed & has his address you'll be able to send letters and carepackages. He'll let you know if there's anything specific he wants and he'll also let you know what he can't have sent over. The US Postal Service has boxes that you can stuff full and its only $10.95 to send them overseas (They're great and fit just about anything).

If you want some more ideas/hints/tips feel free to e-mail me.

Answer 6

First of all do you live near the base. If so have your Marine introduce you to the Wive support group. Depends on local ordinances if GF can belong but they can help. Letters are critical so one at least every  3 days. Do not talk s*x but how much you admire and support him, build ties that bind and make sure he knows who is his biggest fan. Do not ***** about him being gone, how unjust the war is etc. Just poor out love and news of his family and friends.