Can anybody explain this behavior?? ?

Question

I went out with this guy about four times or so. On our most recent date, we had an incredible time together- we went jet-skiing, made a fantastic meal, and walked up to the beach. Then, since everything was going perfectly, and he really really seemed to like me, I made the mistake of sleeping with him. Unfortunately, the condom broke and we were both very freaked out (fortunately, I had been recently tested and am clean, and he is in the military and has also been tested for STDs recently). Also, his shoulder was hurting from an old injury and from all we'd been doing that day.

He just no longer seemed interested. He didn't ask me to stay, although we had just slept together. He wasn't even looking at me when we hugged goodbye- he was looking at the Olympics on TV. What the h**l? Can anybody explain this?

Answer 1

maybe the s*x wasnt what he expected ...different ideas on how freaky to be or something

Answer 2

Um, He got what he wanted. Sorry

Answer 3

He is scared he could have got you pregnant?

Answer 4

This may come off as critical, but I'm just stating my thoughts, no offence intended.

You asked your question in such a way that it gives people the impression of him being no longer interested in you after sleeping with him. In fact, you seem to be unconsciously asking this question in an attempt to get answers from people to convince yourself that he was indeed, only in it to share the bed with you.

You said it was a mistake, and basing your judgment on two very specific incidents, you allege that he is no longer interested in you. Do you think you might be just getting a little paranoid? I stopped giving presents to my mom on Christmas, but that doesn't mean I don't love her anymore. Have you actually tried talking to him, and telling him how you feel? Get an answer from him before you try to find ways to convince yourself that your own suspicions are correct.

Not trying to prove that you're wrong or anything. This is just a view from a different perspective.

Answer 5

It's possible he could have just been looking for s*x and since he got that, he's no longer interested.

Answer 6

Lust can look like love sometimes.

Answer 7

his passion was tested by you being what seems so very close to what his idea of the right woman for him should be and what only comes to international forefront (the olympics) every four years is never enough. It's timing good woman, timing. I know if he's like this now he'll be like this later but I tell you some guys come around and realize the importance of the moment (most don't) but some do. You didn't ask for suggestions but! if I am stepping out of bounds I ask your pardon:

I would if you, take the whole close to perfection great times you had and chalk them together all up to experience. Never to be confused by lingering thoughts of "what if?"  Run with the shared fun and excitement you two shared and keep it wholesome and light. He'll call again and I bet it's right after the ending olympics ends. Say? Out of curiosity, does he like football? If you found that out during the four dates, when he calls again and he will, try this; tell him you were sorry for freaking out about the condom (but cudo's for getting it on both ways) and see if he would like to join you at a great sports bar that serves pu pus for the season opening monday night football game. and put your back when seated to the T V and watch his interest and let him have his passion for sport without seeming like you are challenging his interests to make a decision that will inevitably let your pride down, again. He's an athlete that misses being there and competing. Any old athlete is hooked on watching, for nuances and eye contacts the subtle banter between athletes allows the athletic eye to see into things the untrained eye can not focus on and non athletes will never understand. the well trained and practiced to perfection athlete builds even when not in the game something I call "the psychology of the testasterone build up" it never goes away. I am 56 and I even still want in the game. Be honest with yourself and him and allow that enrichment of love and passion for sport to never be sacrificed or diminished by asking for a decision of you or sport and enjoy your engagement and wedding if you hear any of this.

Answer 8

Sometimes men show their emotions differently. Maybe he was afraid to be too interested in you, because he doesnt yet know where he wants the relationship to go. If he's in the military he may not be ready for a "commitment" right now & didnt want to give you false hopes.

Answer 9

When you were describing the most recent date, I was thinking it sounded a little too perfect. It's almost as though this guy is a master manipulator and set up the perfect romantic evening - complete with jet skiis, good food, and a walk on the beach - in order to get you to put out. Understandably, you were caught up in the moment (which is most likely what he was aiming for) and let your standards slip for a night. He got the gold and then turned his back on you after the fact. Beware: he'll probably call after a few days and try to smooth everything over. Before you know it, you'll be added to the people on his "booty call" list. Since you don't sound like the kind of person who fits into that category, do yourself a favor and remind yourself of your worth. Take this as a learning opportunity and try not to sleep with people unless you know them well, have been tested, and if you're a woman, are on birth control. Glad you lucked out this time on the STD thing. It's no laughing matter. Lastly, it's never easy to sum up people or give opinions on a situation when you weren't there. On that note, it's possible that his shoulder was giving him pain, he was tired, or a host of other things. Don't jump to conclusions, but keep yourself aware of what's going on and don't just make up excuses for being treated badly.