Can anyone check this part of my story?

Question

Hi, I am just a 14-year old guy,

can anyone check this and tell me any grammatical error or other mistakes?

please dont comment negatively

I was worn out. It was a long, hard day, indeed; I climbed up a mountain side and descended from the other side to my next destination, Montagunua which was a hidden and small village known only to a few professional travellers like me. I loitered along a small alley at night to find a motel to sleep in. I wasn’t afraid then.

She suddenly came up from behind. I didn’t have time to run, run away from her. Or was it a guy? At first, I could only make out his or her visage under the shadow. Then, I realized that the person was a guy. He didn’t look pallid or dirty enough to be a beggar. His face was rubicund. He seemed just fine like any normal people.

Now, I concentrated hard to hear or rather understand what he was saying. He was gibbering in some alien language to me. Well, I didn’t know if it was for me, but he certainly was talking about something. I couldn’t find any way to elude his strange muttering. Just when I thought of running away since he was so rapt in his own self conversation, he stopped.

He was suddenly so calm and placid as if he had another kind of person in him. He even seemed to become very tacit. He then said sorry to me in English. I thought that he thought I was someone he knew. However, he told me to follow after.

I revolted against him. He just grasped my arm and dragged me with him. I just shouted for help in paroxysm of fear and anger. There was no one to help me. It was as if the village was forsaken. We reached at a small parlour for guests. He offered me a cup of coffee. He must have felt compunction for dragging me here in force. He told me to stay there, sedentary in a chair.

Answer 1

Corrected Version:

I was worn out. It was a long, hard day, indeed; I climbed up a mountain and descended from the other side to my next destination. This destination happened to be a hidden and small village known only to a few professional travelers like me--it's name was Montagunua. I loitered along a small alley at night to find a motel to sleep in. I wasn’t afraid then.

She suddenly came up from behind. I didn’t have time to run--to escape  from her. Or was it a guy? At first, I could only make out his or her visage under the shadow. To my sudden realization, it WAS a man. He didn’t look pallid or dirty enough to be a beggar. Though his face was rubicund, he seemed just fine like any normal people.

Now, I concentrated hard to hear or rather understand what he was saying. He was gibbering in some alien language to me. Well, I didn’t know if it was for me, but he certainly was talking about something. I couldn’t find any way to elude his strange muttering. Just as the thought of escape crossed my mind--due to his continue mumbles of incoherent words and phrases--he suddenly stopped. His facial expressions became very calm and placid, it was as if he were into a separate persona. After he mumbled a quick "sorry", he glanced at me a familiarity in his eyes.

Just as I revolted against him, he just grasped my arm and dragged me with him. I just shouted for help in paroxysm of fear and anger. There was no one to help me. It was as if the village was forsaken.

We reached at a small parlor for guests. He offered me a cup of coffee. He must have felt compunction for dragging me here in force. He told me to stay there, sedentary in a chair.

CHANGES

Whole revision to first few lines of first paragraph.

Revision of second paragraph, second line changed to: " I didn’t have time to run--to escape from her."

Complete revision of paragraph three.

Last line of fourth paragraph revised.

travellers TO travelers

parlour TO parlor

erased the word SIDE from the line "mountain side".

And, as you can see, I've made other adjustments then the ones I listed.