Can anyone give advice on how to deal with teenage daughter with symtoms of depression and low self essteem?

Question

She also has a physical disabled called hyper-phosphates-anmeiarickets which has left her leg browed inward, she has insercure feeling about her appearance because of this. She has being crying alot and the thought of school makes it worst.

Answer 1

I am also disabled and you can sometimes feel so scared that people are going to be mean that you daren't leave the house.I can understand your daughter feel self concious but the only way through it is to try and boost her self confidence. Tell her that she beautiful and special I've learnt that there are people out there with no legs or arms so am not as bad. I think accepting who you are comes with age so I feel over time she will be able to cope better with the way she looks. Get her to learn to love what she has got going for her nice eyes, long hair, great skin and all the rest will melt in the back ground I promise.

Hope this can help

It does get better

Answer 2

My heart goes out to her and you, I've found the Paul McKenna CD very helpful (see link), some assertive training may also help.

Answer 3

Take her to a psycholagist.

Answer 4

i went through a bad stage of it wen i was in high school best thing is not to pressure her and to reassure like wen she has her hair different comment in a csual way about how nice it is things like that.Let her know u are here for her wen she fels ready to talk but dont push her as she will clam up, if u let let her come to u she will in time do things with her that u know she enjoys doin shoppin walks out etc she may open up if she is doin somethin she likes

Answer 5

go over to the adolescent section and see if anybody will be willing to be her online friend

Answer 6

As a previous depressed and suicidal teen, all i can say is never just let her sit alone. do everything you can to get her out of the house. self essteem is hard. try taking her to get a manicure or pedicure. talk to her. let her know you care, and let her know that you are going to be there for her when ever she needs you.

Answer 7

The first thing you need to tell her is that even though she has a physical problem doesn't mean that she is ugly nor special.  I would have her talk with her doctor and he can get her to therepy.  Sometimes dealing with issues like this is not in our hands anymore.  All I can say is that you need to be there for her and show her more and more love.  Good Luck!!

Answer 8

ask her what she wishes could be done and see what you can do (not just about her legs, but about anything that would make her feel better) for example, take her out for a girls day, buy her some new clothes and take her to clinque or somewhere where they can show her how to put on makeup and buy her some. my mom did that for me and i felt SOO much better about myself when i was in high school. knowing i had nice makeup (not caked on or anything but usally make up helps bring out your beauty even more) and i knew how to put it on correctly. yeah this will cost some money, if you dont have a lot, try to save up. your daughter is definately worth it. maybe try to find someone with the same disability for her to have someone to talk to and be friends with that is in the same situation as she is. good luck with this

Answer 9

Take her to a make over session which gives a photo shoot and ask them to give her clothing tips as well. Lots of ttention an bonding sessions. Take each day as it comes, no pressure just be there for her, she will get through it

Answer 10

Help her by letting her homeschool. The homeschooling communities are much more open and friendly toward people with disabilities. She could meet new friends and deal with families rather than the age segregated false environment of public school. Many homeschoolers adopt children with disabilities, so she would see a different type of peerage. What I mean is this: In homeschooling you'll see families loving eachother & cooperating - rather than siblings hostile to one another.  Many children just blossom after they come out of those stressful public schools.

Answer 11

i think she needs more of your attention care and support .Dont ignore her she feel insecure.Tell her that you love her and she is beautiful dont care about people outside the world.Spend time with her bring her out to a movie or mall just you and her i guess she will love it and she will feel proud that as her mother you are there with her.God Bless.

Answer 12

every teeanager has self asteem issues. what you need to do if she has been diagnosed by a doctor as having depression is get her on anti-depressants right away. they really help. what does she like to do? is there a creative outlet for her to release her anxiety? just talk to your daughter and reassure her that she is beautiful. do things with her if she doesn't have many friends. let her know how fun and loved she is.

Answer 13

Hmmm... she sounds like a typical teenager to me.

I realise she has a deformity, but whether it is a bowed leg or a spotty forehead girls can become insecure and obsessed by it.

If it was my daughter, i'd play it down. Don't encourage the thoughts that she is different or has something to be upset about... just support her, make a joke about life and get on with it!

Maybe encourage her to have friends round for dinner and sleepovers or go to the cinema - all she needs is to feel like she has friends.

Answer 14

Well I feel sorry for her,  I wish I could be there, I'd make everything better.

Be Strong !

Jordan

Answer 15

Counseling is not the answer! Most teens that suffer from depression hate sympathy, which most people will do, sympathize. Maybe she ask the school if it is possible for her to skip school for a few days and just get someone to send her work to her. Maybe you should find someone in your area with the same disability and let them talk to her since they more then likely will know how she feels. Talk to her in a non sympathetic way. See why she is so low on herself. No one is perfect. Maybe she is getting teased. But it is probably best you leave that matter alone. it will only embarass her more. i dont really know. Truthfully she's just going to have to deal with it.

Answer 16

just let her by herself and let her calm down

Answer 17

Counselling...she needs to be able to talk to someone objective and who is trained to help her build up her self esteem and get her out of her depression by talking and even prescription meds if necessary.

Answer 18

As a 14 year-old, I was depressed and had low self-esteem.  Part of it is just the nature of teenage years.  However, you can help.  My mom tried to take me to several counselors.  In my opinion, this was a terrible idea.  It made me feel like there WAS something wrong with me and just made the problems worse.  Spend lots of girl time with her.  Mom and daughter outings were the best!  We talked about everything and later when my friends were drinking etc in high school, I didn't feel the need to bc my mom and I had that special bond.  Do her make-up.  Play with her hair.  Tell her stories you would tell a girlfriend about when you were her age- just don't be condescending.  All these things will help.

Also make sure she has several extra-curriculars that she can excel at.  Even if she doesn't have self-confidence over all, these experiences with success will allow her to build on her self-image over her teenage years.  

Also, I am not sure if this is a possibility with her physical disabilities, but look into the People to People Student Ambassador Program.  This more than anything else in my teen years, gave me a sense of myself and the confidence that I could take care of myself (while still in a supervised, safe environment).

Good luck!

Answer 19

Go see a marriage and family therapist.  Take her and your entire family.

Answer 20

i know how you feel i also have a teenage daughter with the same symptoms and what i do is talke to her take her with me to the park and have a one to one talk about how she feels what one her mind i also let her know that i was also young my self too and its better when you let someone know how you feel dont let it in let it out and if she dont want me to know then i will get you help its your choice and if you need time im here for you i love you your important to me i will always be here for you count on me your mom.

Answer 21

I would advise you to go and get her counselling. I have a 13 year old who suffered depression and low self esteem but that was because of bullying in junior school , and trying to deal with having an autistic brother. I felt helpless but I went and saw my doctor and he referred her to a child psychologist unit and they did wonders with her. Also it might be worth talking to her school about your concerns , and they might be able to sort out counselling for her as well. I have done that with my daughters high school as she began to get depressed again because of problems we are having with her brother and they have been fantastic in getting her a school counsellor who she sees once a week and it has helped enormously. Good luck, my thoughts are with you and your daughter.