Can anyone give me suggestions on my scholarship acceptance letter?

Question

I am having trouble with the ending:

The Fine Arts scholarship will encourage me to pursue my dream while staying involved with music. The aid will also help prevent future debt.

Again thank you so much for this wonderful opportunity. I promise you will not be disappointed.

I just feel like I should have a lot more.

Answer 1

I would not mention staying out of debt.(Besides, the debt would not be in the future, at least the far future as it sounds in what you wrote.) I would mention that it helps you to not have to take a job to pay for school which would (taking the job) leave a lot less time for studying.

Answer 2

So we are assuming that you have already rec'd this scholarship?

If this is so, you could write something like this:

Dear Scholarship Donor,

I have dreamed of attending __________ school ever since I was young and now that I have been named as one of the recipients in the __________________________ Scholarship program, my dream is becoming a reality. I am glad to have the opportunity to thank you personally for your generosity. Without scholarship patrons like you, there would be many students such as myself unable to pursue the career they've dreamed of.

My future plans include pursuing _____________. I not only have a passion for ___________, but also enjoy working with _________.

Once again, I offer my sincerest thanks for your continued generosity to the _____________________ Scholarship.

Sincerely,