Can anyone help me? I met this guy from Morocco online 3 years ago and he just recently asked me if I would...

Question

like to visit him there, he told me that he can;t come here because he needs a visit and he can't afford one, and even though we have talked for 3 years online and on the phone I am a little nervous from horror stories I have heard about guys from Morocco I don;t want to judge him before I truely know him but I want to know is there anyway I can like do background search on him or something before I go there just to be sure he isn't crazy, I know it sounds dumb but I just want to be sure, because he asked me to stay with him and his family, and refused my idea of a hotel , I just want to know if he playing games or not he has told me he has fallen in love with me but I don't want it to turn out to be some game can anyone offer some advice to my situation please....I don't need rude remarks I just want some advice on people who have been through this type of thing before, thank you

Answer 1

Why would anyone refuse the idea of a hotel?

That seems like a big red flag to me.  Like I can't control you if you're in a hotel.  You say yourself "I don't want to judge him before I really know him"  listen to that... I don't really know him...

I'd stay home.

Answer 2

All I can do is tell you about my experience.  I met my husband 1 1/2 years ago on the internet.  We met through a mutual online friend of mine and acquaintance of his in the same town he lives in.  He wanted someone to practice his English with.  It did not take long for our friendship to develop into more and before long we were on the computer for hours a day talking on webcam.  It was not long after that before he admitted he loved me and asked me to marry him.  We were engaged for 1 year before I went to Morocco to spend some time with him and his family and get married.  We have been happily married for 9 months.  Initially we both wanted to live in Morocco, but I have to stay in the states until my social security disability is approved.  Most of what Sarah S says is true, but there are exceptions.  I am quite a bit older than my husband, overweight, divorced and have a teenage son.  My husband did not marry me for a green card as he has never wanted to live in America.  We fought a lot of obstacles to be together including the disapproval of our families.  As Sarah said it is very common for him to want you to stay with his family and you would be safer there than in a motel.  There is an American Embassy in Casablanca and you can register there and give them the address you will be staying at.  Americans are very well protected in Morocco.  By him inviting you to stay with his family means he is very serious about you.  Otherwise he would be keeping you a secret from them.   You really have nothing to fear from going to Morocco so if you really want to meet him and you are serious about him too then go for it and enjoy your trip there.  Morocco is a beautiful country and the people are some of the nicest you will ever meet.

Answer 3

Hi Sweetie, I am in the same situation as you. I have a Boyfriend in Sidi Bennour, Morocco. I met him online only last November. I do understand what your saying here. If you have been talking to him online for 3 years, you should have a pretty good idea by now. Your gut instinct, I call it.My friend visits me everyday on line. He always wants to see me. And, he sends me beautiful cards in the US mail. I even met his family online/webcam, and he has told his Mother and Father he is going to marry me someday. Ha! I wanted to know a little more of my friend, so I asked him for proof of a Passport or Visa. Mine sent me a copy of his Passport, But, he can not get a Visa. That shows a little proof of who he is. And, first see if he will come see you first. See what he says to you. Mine can not coome here to the US because he does not show strongs ties to Morocco. This very complicated, and you should investigate and read up on the Visa end of it, and the reason he gives you. Yes, it is alot of legwork. Ha! 2) Ask him to send you a copy of his Public Record from the Casablanca Consulty/Embassy there. It list whether he has been arrested or has a criminal background, or is clean. You can request this from him. If he refuses, then, I would not consider visiting him. Because, most likely he would be hiding something. Mine sent me his. And, he is clean. The rest is basically all judgement. I have a good judgement of character, so that helps a bit. Ha. Yes, If he is Muslim/Moroccan, they can be different. They are very different over there in that country. And, Yes, they tend to get a bit jeolous. You have to set them straight. Mine gets jeolous alot, and I do not like it much. But he is a sweet man, and is younger too. And, yes they can be very hospitality like, and want to drink Tea with you. Ha. If you have any questions feel free. Good Luck.

here is Morocco website for Visa/Passport info etc.

www.casablanca.usconsulate.gov or go to

www.travel.state.gov  

God Bless,

Kaloni

Answer 4

I m going to help you the best I can please do not be offended though because nothing will be directed towards you. I know how middle eastern men think and how Arabs view non Arabs. I am actually half white and half middle eastern so I will give u an insight. I met my husband on line when I was 18 and married in morocco. I am now 26 and we have a 6 yr old and 6 month daughter. I am still married he is not a perv and I am a year older than him. It is normal for Arab's to invite people to stay in their home with their family's.  If he was up to something funny he would put u in a hotel and hide u from family and friends. Most arabs meet online because "dating" is not sociably accepted, people get engaged and married.

Now with that said I will give you the warning sides if he is using you for papers.

1. If he does not introduce you to his arab female friends.  My friends and I always can tell when are guy friend is in love when he introduces his girlfriend to us. When this happens your in the inner social circle. Alot of arab guys will date non arab girls but we never see her.

For example if you and him were in the usa and he brought you to a sheesha bar and sat you with his female friends and left you there, that means ur part of the fam!

2. If he does not say anything when another man stares at you HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU! Arab men are very jelous trust me.

3. If you are a lot older than him/are overweight (obese not chubby)/have kid(s)/a lot of baggage

4. If you were involved in many prior relationships and he knows this, (they perfer virgin wifes BUT if you did not sleep around A LOT they will over look this)

5. If you have not seen him on web cam.

There is no way to do a background check, I wish I could help you more but I am leaving Morocco next week for a few months.

Answer 5

I've been to Morocco and have meet some cool people there, and know some cool people here from there, but be smart!

Don't go there to see him. You do not know him really, and the laws and customs there can be a lot different.

If you want to meet him, and here is too far, have him meet you in southern Spain. It is a ferry's ride from Morocco. It will be better for you ,and him to meet on neutral ground. Even Gibraltar  which is still under control of the UK will be a good spot to go.

DON'T GO ALONE!!!!! Even if you are not going to Morocco, do not go alone!!!! And make sure to call your Embassy where ever you end up going, and make sure they are aware you are there, and where you are at so they can follow up if something happens.

Really, he should go visit you, and you shouldn't go around the world to chase some guy. But if you are going to go be smart and safe!

I'm sure you have already heard all the stories about men looking for a green card, so I won't go over all that again, just keep it in mind too.

Answer 6

I do not know him or you but I served in Viet Nam where you could trust no one . The women would say anything to get to be with an American , some hoping to go to the USA and some hoping to hurt or maime an American . You could not trust them at all regardless of what they said . I am reminded of a situation that recently came up in Iraq . A young Marine accepted a young Iraq's invitation to her house within the city . He liked her and had known her for a while . When he went to her home seeking to meet her family and get some good chow , he was met by Iraqey soldiers with ****** and locked weapons and as soon as he entered the house they started firing . He grabbed the young woman and held her in front of him thinking like an American that surely the soldiers would not take the chance of shooting and injuring the young lady . That thought in his mind he started backing out . They not only risked harming the woman , they actually killed her and shot so many times , there was no

doubt of their intentions .

These people will not stop at saying anything to get the enemy , us and all of our friends .

I would not go , there is definitely something wrong with a man who invites you but tells you he can not come here because  Yadda , yadda , yadda .

Trust only about 10% or less of what you hear and even less of what you see .

Answer 7

40 yr old s*x predetor?

-.-

Answer 8

I think you shouldn't go to visit him at all because you don't even know him and he might be some kind of predator.

Answer 9

You have some great answers already, so I won't go into a lot of detail.  Just follow your heart, but always use your head.  I moved to Morocco to marry my wonderful husband.  I have no regrets and am glad I took the chance.  

Best wishes from a happily married Moroccan-American couple :-)

Answer 10

Rule of thumb: If he's not from America or a nicer European country, he's a scam. Please don't do it! You can't fall in love with someone over the internet! :(

Answer 11

Hey please please please please Dont go,Domt even go,He is just telling you to come so he can have s*x with you.and show of because there is an Islamic country all of the unmarried never have s*x,hun i have heard alot of people die when they go there or something happens trust me my friend that same thing ... and by the way his parents will call you a Hor/s**t because usually in thier fuked up culture the girl doesnt travel for the man.havent you seen France its  very bad...

i gave you my advice please take it and take good care of yourself,let him come its safer for you its better than someone rapping you there,iam  not saing morocow is like this but roomers tell,

Answer 12

Do please listen to the advise of yahoo_fa..

It is very sound advice. Please also take into consideration what i must add.

I know Moroccan families and culture very well. I would imagine though not in any way derogatory suggestion, that your friend has not got a profession, he may work on a farm? or in a teleboutique? probably in a job that doesnt pay too well by Moroccan standard.

If he is professional, it is more likely that he has the means to support a Moroccan - Muslem  wife, and especially if he is true to his religion.

If this is the case (with job situation) many Moroccan men like to find a Western wife so that they may leave the country to find a better job elsewhere. This does not mean that he doesnt love you, especially if you are in regular contact. He may genuinely feel that he has met someone he loves, can marry, and can get him out of his situation. You may have also both spoken of you converting to Islam. Does he ask if you are eating pork? does he question you about alcohol? about your religion? these are all pieces of the jigsaw that will tel you his intentions with you. When you meet and eventually marry, will he want to live with you in your country or will he hope you live in Morocco? Will you live between the two countries as some do?. Will you bring childrenn up as Muslim? He could take the chilldren back to his couontry if the marriage breaks down........

As for meeting his family - many Moroccan families would want you to stay with them - thou in a respectable family you will be chaperoned and not be allowed to sleep with him . Even in an external environment ie hotel, s*x before marriage is 'haram' to a Muslim.

Though all people differ, i cannot imagine why the family would want to kiss him and embarass him in front of you, true Muslims are very private with emotions, though  women to women, men to men kiss and hug profusely on meeting  families are very emotional in general.

For your first visit, I would stay in a hotel in town, meet and go out together with a chaperone.  I hope to be going in October so depending on which part you are going, i would happily meet with you  i am a woman 54, stay in good hotels as well as with family - I would not invite you with my family as you dont know them either - hotels are safer! Look at my profile on wwwvirtualtourist.com and my other postings on Yahoo answers also on www.lonelyplanet.com under the name of deram  I want to help you, hopefully this will be a good friendship for you, but please dont comit for a long time and after many meetings. Email me as there is no room to say and advise all on here. Best wishes, Nadia.

Answer 13

Alright, first of all, I understand how you feel as I lived the same situation before. Now, let me tell you about Morocco a little bit. Tourists come everyday and spend wonderful days and go back to their country satisfied or not depending on what type of prepraration they made before their journey. Internet is no different than a coffe shop or a university where you chat once and a while during 3 or 4 years. There's nothing wrong in trying to meet people by this mean.

How many tourists have you heard where kidnapped or lost in Morocco during the last 10 years? ...pfff ridiculous!!!

Marrakech for example which is a well known destination has become as famous as Monaco...

Go girl and meet the guy, BUT PLEASE register yourself first in your embassy before travelling inside the country as a safety measure no more.

The point is not whether to go there or not, the point is to know if this guy's seeking a green card or not and if this is the case you will know it for sure when you'll be there. How ? here's the trick: suggest you wanna live in Morocco for ever and have no intention to go back to the US nor help get his green card and stand still!! He might say he's not interested in a green card but don't believe it. Wait and see. After you come back to us, you will either notice the same intensity or a complete disinterest...

Anyway, my opinion is that you can give it a try but remember. Moroccans are fond of their families and don't live far from them very long. If he really loves you he will ask you to live with him there and he can have you and his family by his side and be the happiest man in the world.

If things envolve after 10 years of marriage and maybe kids between you, then he probably deserves that you help him get his green card so he can be next to your kids while they study in an american school...

I may have gone too far, but that's only because I understand how confused you are.

One last thing, don't be shoked if his family is either suspicious or in the opposite too familiar with a lot of kisses and hugs: moroccans either hate or adore... passion is a tradition there.

Good luck dear co-yahooer, don't be afraid, there's a bigger chance you get eaten by the "big foot" than being kidnapped in Morocco.

Take care

PS: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger ;)

Answer 14

I think those who say that you'll get abducted, that he wants you just for the s*x are...crazy;

I mean, people who think a Moroccan man would go online, just to meet a woman and have s*x with her because he can't do it with Moroccan women...it's just non sense, plus, who would wouldn't wait 3 years...that's crazy, and yes, men in morocco have s*x...and it's nothing to worry about...just like men in the US have s*x, and don't hide it...

I'm just shocked by the ignorance of people here, first it's the Dr.Phil thingy about an American girl moving to Palestine...and now people saying that if it's not US or Europe...it's scam...

Listen, go for it, be carefull, there's an embassy in Rabat, and a consulate in Casablanca, let them know where you go, what you do; just for safety, but really, you have nothing to worry about, and no, they won't think of you as a h**e, plus, the fact that they want you in their house is a huge thing, really huge, and they refused your idea of a hotel, because they just think you'll waste your money, and it's kind of an insult to them hehe...because you're gonna be in their country...and they want you to be comfortable and all

and don't worry, the law over here protects the tourists, and if God forbid, you have a problem...well, i wanna give you some emergency number(cops, firefighters etc) but i don't know in what city you're gonna be...so let me know;)

if you have any questions, email me

take care!

Edit:

No problemo

Yes, Temara is near Rabat

Cops: 19 from a regular phone, 12 from a Cell  phone

Fire/Ambulance: 15

American embassy(Rabat) :

http://rabat.usembassy.gov/

I'm looking for their number, I'll let you know when I find it

Hope this helps;)

Answer 15

go be happy. just use your common sense really.

Answer 16

just go and have a lot of fun , he s not a monster