Can anyone help me with punctuation and grammar on my process essay? Does anyone know of a good title for it?

Question

Mr. and Mrs. Arden were good friends and neighbors. However, as amiable as they were,

they always refused to attend church suppers or any other event that required them to eat in public. This sparked the curiosity of my mother who asked Mrs. Arden why. She reluctantly told my mother they did not eat in public because of her husband’s repulsive habit. Mr. Arden would partially chew his food, roll it up into a ball on his tongue, and then with his fingers pull the substance out of his mouth and inspect it. Mrs. Arden had tried to correct his habit in the past but in the end she was forced to accept his distasteful practice. Mother convinced Mrs. Arden that they could break Mr. Arden of his nasty habit through a three step process. The strategy require making Mr. Arden self-conscious and embarrassed whenever he practiced his nasty habit, and to insure their plan worked they would alter the source of his temptation.

The first part of the plan was to show Mr. Arden how repulsive he appeared to others when he examined his halfway chewed food. The first step they employed was to make him self-conscious of his actions. This was accomplished by placing a large mirror on the table in front of him to give him a clear view of how disgusting he appeared when removing his food from his mouth during mealtimes. The plan worked at first however after a while he grew accustomed to his presence in the mirror and returned back to his former eating style.

The second step they employed against Mr. Arden’s bad habit was to use the power of embarrassment. Mrs. Arden invited mother over to eat dinner with them, and sit her across the table from Mr. Arden in hopes that her presence would be embarrassing to him if he removed food from his mouth. The ploy worked like a dream at first. However, his habit was so engraved into his self-conscious until he returned to examining his pre-chewed food before swallowing without realizing what he was doing. Nevertheless, for the first time Mr. Arden was beginning to show signs of wanting to break his disgusting practice.

For the final step of their strategy they decided to make it impossible for him to remove food from his mouth. Mrs. Arden turned to serving her husband foods that were too liquid or soft to be removed from his mouth by hand. This method worked until Mr. Arden desired something more substantial than soups and crème potatoes. Mrs. Arden then turned to her trump card, slimy boiled okra. When Mr. Arden tried to retrieve the okra from his mouth he found it too slippery to hold with his fingers and finally gave up trying.

Thanks to their efforts, Mrs. Arden’s husband eventually broke his habit of chewing his cud twice. They now enjoy eating out at restaurants and church socials. To this day Mrs. Arden serves boiled okra to Mr. Arden once a week just in case he feels any tendency to return to his old habit.

Answer 1

When using the word "this" in a sentence, write the noun referring to the word "this."  Line three needs to be corrected with the word this you must refer to the noun you are talking about.Otherwise, a sentence can be misconstrued. I don't believe you're supposed to end a sentence with a question such as linen four. The "they" in line five is hazy as to who is exactly you are speaking about, clarify that. In the second to the last line of the first paragraph,  the word require should be changed to required. Also use another word in the second to the last line of the first paragraph in place of making, that doesn't sound proper. In the last line of the first paragraph, separate the compound sentence. In the third paragraph when you say "mother" capitalize mother because you are addressing her directly. In the second line of the third paragraph use the word sat instead of sit. In line four the analogy you used doesn't make sense, try something different. Self-consciousness should be used in line five of the third paragraph. In the second sentence of the fourth paragraph the words "too liquid" doesn't make sense..Remember when using this to refer back to a noun in the sentence.  Oh and for a title how about Mr.Arden's Peculiarity. Hopefully this helped, you're paper was very amusing. Hope you do well!