Hi, I was wondering if anyone could possibly relate to me. I've always tried to find someone who has gone through
the same or equivalent problems as me -but to no avail :(
All my life i've lived without a father, I got to visit him around twice a year when I was younger (forced to acutualy) and
it fustrasted me a great deal. My father cheated on my mom, he constantly changed girlfriends, and he always gave
me the cold shoulder (In fact, I strongly believe the sole reason he brought me with him was to pretend he was
a fatherly man -to attract girls of course!) I pursade this theory also because when he no longer had faith he could
find another girlfriend -he uterally rejected me (I called him after an entire years absence and he simply hung up on me)
I've always lived with my mother (who is partialy disabled) and a while ago the new addtion of my non-responsive near
senility grandmother (who is fully disabled, and also only speaks italian + she demands an AWFUL lot of atention from my mom). One of the many problems that I delt with in childhood
was our finacial endevors -we lived in an apartment (rented to be exact) it diden't bother me that much until we packed our bags and
moved. The landlord at our other apartment was mean spirited and foul, after getting his months rent -he still had the
guts to come literally bashing at our door yelling obsanities and pure rubbish (that he diden't recieve his rent) while I
pushed my back towards to door in effort to stop him bursting in. This was the begining of my infiriority complex. The
second that certainly packed a punch was my mother's boyfriend. Just around when I started to open up to him he gets
stark raving drunk and invades our apartment. It was the single most terrifying instance in my life. I heard yelling, banging,
and the doorbell ringing -so I fled to the washroom (the only lockable door) and coverd my head. I had no idea of the events
taking place on the staircase other than noises. I heard my mom opening the door, a yelling man, a loud bang, strong
footsteps escalating the steps towards me, and glass breaking. Thankfully he was stopped, I thought he shot my mom
but it was just a loud kick to the wall - and he was arrested. After this I find it hard to open up to people, I thought I knew
him well.
Another thing i'll tell about is the horrors of my uncle. My uncle was a physcopath -he stocked me at my elementary
school and constantly harrased my mom. He to me is satan in the flesh. After moving once to evade him, he relocated
us and parked outside there -just waiting, for hours. It was incredibly nerving to me, I diden't have a dad to kick his butt.
So I basically had to turn my back constantly to see if he was stocking me -nice....
The last example i'll give was my horrible entire year at a terrible druggy school. I begged to get out but there was no
room in any other school for me. I literally got slapped across the face infront of a teacher, and she simply told the guy
who slapped me that she was going to call the principle (she diden't) I had to take the metro alone everyday back and
forth -it would have been easier if it wasen't that metro in particular. Someone I knew had a gun pointed to his head. It
was a hellish year, but what made me angry was that my richy rich cousins went to the ajacent private school and did
not even bother to even say hello to me. (I have no contact with any of my cousins/ aunts/ uncles, since theres always
a family feud) - its nice to know that your family is always there for you -_-;
Whenever I approach my mom wanting to talk about things that went on, she dosen't want to hear it. I feel horribly alone.
I'd be so much happier if I had someone to relate to. I thought I could relate with one of my friends (her parents were
divorced) but while we were talking she began bragging about what a great relationship she had with her father.
Umm...i'm also fifteen if that makes a diference XD I just wanted to add that.
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