Can anyone tell me how to find my son?

Question

18 years ago, I placed my son for adoption using an open adoption method. I fully expected to hear from the attorney now that he has turned 18. So far, I haven't heard from anyone. How can I go about finding him? I have his name and the state he is in.

Answer 1

Did you sign a consent for your child? Meaning it being on file in the state where the adoption was finalized. This gives your son permission to get identifing information about you if he decided to look for you.

You can write the agency where he was placed and request non identifing information about your child.

Answer 2

I'm not sure what method would be best  to use, however, as a birthmother, I do know that regardless of what form of adoption you used, you have no legal right to information.

Answer 3

Besides contacting the attorney, you could register on the soundex.  Also you could use his name and search on the various search engines, plus myspace, facebook, classmates, etc...  Also, you could see if your state has a mutual consent registry.

Answer 4

You can try a few things:

Go to the hospital where he was born and leave a note so that if he ever goes to find out your name, they agree to give it to him.

There are movements for that. HEre in Quebec, Canada, we have : http://www.mouvement-retrouvailles.qc.ca...

There is surely an association where you live.

You may put an add in the paper...

Good luck

Answer 5

I think you should talk to the attorney. However, to grease the way, you should talk to the adoptive parents as soon as you find them. They might be feeling scared, but if you explain you don't want to take their place, they probably will be more open about you having a relationship with your son.

Answer 6

Try an contact the attorney or lawyer you used back then, and ask him what you should do on finding your son.

Answer 7

I am adopted and would love if my parents searched for me.  It would make me feel like they actually wanted me.  However, he may not feel like I do.  If you have his name I would look at www.adoption.com and look in the registry area.  Look for his name.  Something else you can do is look at www.zabasearch.com and also http://www.blackbookonline.info/

Hope that helps.

Answer 8

go to peoplefinders.com and go from there. sometimes the site gives you the number address and everything you need to know for free. i know what you are going through, i had my son when i was only14, i gave him up for adoption when he was 1 1/2. we also have an open adoption, but they wont let me see him because they are afraid ill try to take him back...duh. but i wont let them know that....hope i helped. good luck

Answer 9

It is possible that he is bitter about the adoption, and does not want to contact you.  If that is the case, I think he will change his mind in time.  My husband (adopted) was bitter for a long time, too.  When we had our first child, he started to think about his own parents more.  If he doesn't contact you right away, don't lose heart.  He still may do so.  Just in case that this is NOT the issue, contact the lawyer and just ask him about it.  There is a possibility that somehow your records have "fallen through the cracks" and will need a little push from you to get moving.  I wish you the best.  Take care.

Answer 10

You said you placed your son in an open adoption, did you lose contact with him and his family?

You need to contact the attorney or agency that you used for the adoption.  They can help you in locating him if the laws provide for disclosure in your state.

Good luck to you.  I hope you find him.

Answer 11

You have so much more info. than others in this situation. I found a great organization called the International Soundex Reunion Registry (www.isrr.org) Just fill out what info. you have and if anyone, at anytime, matches that info., they can contact you directly for a reunion.

Answer 12

my advice is don't............let him find you...........

registry with online sites and call the attorney and say you are willing to let your son know where you are...........then let him find you..........he may not want to find you ...........he may want to find you ................but the last thing anyone wants is someone to show up on their door step and say surprise!