Can bad sexual experiences make you drawn for more love?

Question

When I was in my last relationship, my ex and I took all our clothes off and he basically almost took my virginity even when I told him to stop the whole time. Also, we were only together for a month, yea, it was stupid to follow up his sweet talk and whatever. I dumped him afterwards. I was sad and depressed for about 3 months and I prayed for someone who wouldn't hurt me again. Now I have the guy I wanted, sweet, caring and all that good stuff. We've been only together for a month, but I feel the urge to touch him and do more things I know I shouldn't do. I actually feel loved for a change and I know he isn't the kind of guy to take advantage of me. What can I do about these sexual urges?

I'm 16 and he's 17.

Answer 1

with your last sexual experience you felt as if ur boyfriend was in control and you were his slave almost now that ur dealing the cards you feel more willing. Be in control but go as far as he feels comfortable. you dont want him to feel the way you did with this other guy

Answer 2

you should just wait for some more time......i hope you wont regret it afterwards

listen to your brain and not hormones

i hope it helps

Answer 3

Take more time to love him without physical things.  You have been in a crummy situation, and I think putting off the mhysical for as long as possible, especially in your case, is whats best.

Answer 4

What happen to you in the past will not have a lasting effect. You will do just fine in the future. As far as touching each other I will say this. Your heart will guild you to do the right thing. Best to you.

Answer 5

Well if i were yu first i would slap the **** out of the other dude then have a talk with your boyfriend  or like in movie say a poem or sumthing lol well just talk to him if he says he not ready den wait  but u should realli think if that a good example for other people cause its better to wait till your married

Answer 6

Wait it out as long as you can. There is plenty of time for s*x if you two are really in a good relationship. I don't think that you should make the first move...it might give him the wrong idea about you.

Best Wishes

Answer 7

well if you start doing that it might make him feel differently about you, guys read into stuff like that and take it as you are easy and he may not respect you like he does now.  i mean it's normal to have urges but you have to control your self and keep your cool~  just try to do things with other people or do things that will allow you guys to have fun but without being in a tempting situation!  good luck~

Answer 8

Uhh.....Is he having these same "urges"? If i were you i would just wait a little while. I mean, you'll proably regret it if something goes wrong.

Answer 9

Girl thats just normal.Those feelings will never leave.But trust he'll ask when he feels u r ready.Those urges will cease when you get what u get.Now I'm not telling u to go out and do it but when ever the times right ya'll will do ya'll do.

Answer 10

well tell him how you feel and just instead sweet talk him. Or do someting to get rid of those urges

Well good luck cause im only 13 so idk if you want to take my word for it cause i never did nythin sexual but wteva good luck

Answer 11

Sexual urges are normal, so i don't really believe you are feeling this way because of any experiences with your ex boyfriend.

However, if you feel this is not the right time for you to have s*x, then don't do it!   Just wait until you are ready.

I'm glad you found a nice guy.

Answer 12

dont give in. you prayed to have a man that loves you and that respects you. Now that you have what you want repay God and keep your hands off of the boy.

Answer 13

So, you were RAPED?  Call the police immediately!

Answer 14

PRAY some more lol but for real those urges are completely normal ...but listen chica.. pay attention to that gut feelin please dont let anyone pressure u into doin things prematurely . if u ask me ur too young and it is too soon to be doing anything . think about it if you knew he was the "one" for sure u wouldnt have to ask someone u would just know rite ??? i hope i made some type of sense and this doesnt sound like a rambling mess lol  

   much amor ;>

Answer 15

Being in a relationship where the guy was a complete jerk and got sexual with you after you said no might have showed you something that you like or something that you know guys would like that is sexual and you want that feeling again. Explain to this new guy what happened before and how badly that old guy hurt you and explain to him the urges... if he honestly loves you for who you are and not how sexual you can be or have the urge to be he'll understand and reassure you that if you're not comfortable you dont have to. Make sure if you are going to do those things with him though that it feels right to you... if at any time before hand you dont feel right or something is telling you to stop or not to do it, let him know and if he really cares he'll be totally cool about it... this has happened to be before too dont feel bad because i went through the same exact thing. If you talk about ur urges then that should keep them under wraps a little bit... they shouldnt be as strong. dont worry about it. hope i helped

Answer 16

don't let these sexual urges take over your head please!! just take it step by step. get to know eachother first. a relationship is not about having s*x. sit down and talk get to know eachother better. have fun doing other things going on trips, going dancing together, movies,swimming, there  are a bunch of other things that you guys could enjoy together without having s*x. good luck=)

Answer 17

Think about it..., if something happens, and you DO have s*x and something goes wrong, and you get pregnant, then what will you do? Are you prepared for that? What will your parents say? I think you should just ignore them.

Answer 18

Take it slow.  A girl who is "too eager, too easy" is playing with fire.  Guys get what they want and dump them.  

But a girl who is really interested is particular. She takes time to get to know the guy very well before allowing intimacy.  It is called courtship, a lovely word.

Answer 19

your not in love and it is just a feeling trust me we all go through that stage. You will always have urges. If you choose to go further use protection

Answer 20

a month is way to early to be thinking about s*x with this guy... and love isn't just something physical... you should wait a little longer and think about why you want to have s*x. nd 2 find out more about this guy. im sorry if i sound like a grandmother or something but im just telling you how it is. what if this guy isn't  what you thought he was? you want the guy you lose your virginity to be special. and you need to know he loves you without a doubt and he will be with you on matter what. hope this helps. :-)  rey

Answer 21

this is a normal feeling for da one u really love..........so if he is also intrested u shud go for it

Answer 22

Just wait till he touches you first. After that, you're good to go expressing your love to him hahaha

Answer 23

Wait more.

Answer 24

Use condom.

Don't get pregnant & infections.

Enjoy.

Thanks.

Answer 25

At 16 it is natural to have those urges. There are many things you can do without going all the way.  I am not going to mention them since I figure you already know them.  There is nothing wrong with experimenting as long as you are doing it for you, not because you are being pressured into it.  If you decide to go "all the way" remember that you have only 1 virginity and once you give it away you can't get it back.  If you feel he is the one make sure you use a condom.

Answer 26

You should wait!!! After only a month you hardly know each other! s*x is a serious commitment with serious consequences!! You said you know you shouldn't do it yet so don't!! You took the first relationship fast so maybe you should try taking this one slow and really getting to know him first!!

Answer 27

Okay. There is nothing you can do about urges. Inless you lock yourself in your room allll day. lol. Do what feels right. And make sure he dont **** you over. I know what you mean.

Im 16 and pregnant. Not were you wanna be! Be carefull!

:]

Answer 28

It is very common to experience heightened sexual desires. The reason for this is that once your body knows what it feels like at a certain level it wants more of that. It is hard to ignore these desires. But your best bet is to wait before going too far. If you have already had oral s*x by the 1st month then the next month you are probably going to want s*x. Eventually one of you will probably get bored and then you can ruin a perfectly good relationship. Take it slow and try to respect both of your bodies.

Answer 29

Your last relationship sounds a little like rape...

Well its common for bad experiences to be related with your urges...

But then again you can just be very attracted to him. Take it slow though. If you've only been together for a month, there is obviously no guarantee you will be together any longer.

Answer 30

if i was u i would talk to him about it and see if he feels the same way  but i would wait even if he wanted to cause i think a month is way to soon but just try and tame those s*x urges or this might sound wired but try to fix yourself for a lil bit i no its sounds wrong r something but i would just tell u no when the times right....i mean make it a special time when u two dicide to do something.

Answer 31

unfortunately one of the hardest things to do as a teenager is defenitely having self control. which is exactly what you need to do.for  you need to hold back and wait at least a little while longer before you get to in over your head (which i think is what happened last time). i hope this helps!

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