Can children remember things that happened to them at age 2 to 3?

Question

My daughter was molested at age 2 1/2 and she is now six. She has had terrible nightmares for years. I have taken her to the doctor but the doctor says that she can not remember because she was so little. The first thing she asked me when I took her to school is "do they have men teachers here"....She just started school and her teacher has already called me to ask if she has any emotional problems....she will get very quiet at times and withdrawl, she will cry and I will ask what is wrong and she will say she doesn't know, she's just said. She is afraid to get things wrong, like if you ask her a question, she will act like if she gets it wrong the world is going to fall apart. Has anyone ever had to go through this. I want her to be happy and healthy and just be a precious little girl.

Answer 1

I think it's very possible for a 2-3 year old remembering things years later.

When I was younger I kept having this dream, of me laying in a crib and a bunch of glass falling on me.

I told my mom and she said that when I was two I was taking a nap (there was a really bad monsoon storm going on) and a big tree branch hit the window above my crib causing all the glass to fall on me in my crib.

To this day I am still able to draw a picture of my bedroom from that house. Where all the furniture is, color of the carpet. We moved out of that house when I was 3.

So in my own experience, I think it is totally possible!

In my opinion, it sounds like you should take your daughter to see a counselor. Sounds like she has some emotional distress that needs to be handled.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 2

Some kids can remember and some cant.

It all just depends on the child.

I wish I could help more.

Maybe you should try taking her to see a psychologist.

Or just really have a good sit-down mother-daughter talk with her about what happened.

...I'm sorry your baby had to go through such an ordeal.

Hope this helps. =]

♥

Answer 3

Some thing happen in  our live that effect us long term whether or not we can remember them. I would take her to get some help because there is seems to be some emotional distress and for her sake I would seek help through a child therapist! I am sorry about your situation and I hope things get better!  

Answer 4

Hi...counselling can help some people and not others, so while it's great for people to suggest on here that you should see someone, you should do it through the proper avenues, i.e get your doctor to refer you. But be prepared for things to get worse before they get better!!!! At present, what happened to your little girl might be a strange image/experience in her mind and she might not understand that it is a memory. Talking about the issue may make it more real, which may help her come to terms with it, but it could create more of a problem - or what would be worse is that it might highlight something that she actually does not have any recollection of - the quietness and sensitivity may be from another source entirely! It's a tough call, but as a mother in a similar situation the best thing you can do for her is to be there for her and try to normalise everything for her - she's at a very impressionable age, so tread very carefully! Lastly...I have read that the fact that she has bad dream/flashbacks, (if that's what it is) and that she's not blocking it out anymore, is a good sign that her brain is ready to deal with the trauma.

I know this hasn't been very helpful but she (and you) are not alone in what's happened and there are so many lovely proffessional people out there. However, don't forget that having just started school is a highly distressing experience for some more sensitive children, and everything can be frightening! Remind her all the time how lucky she is to have such a loving mummy and a fun-filled future ahead of her.

Answer 5

Yes, you can remember traumatizing things that young.  My husband was molested at 3, and he has had to deal with major emotional and sexual issues even now, and it's been over 30 years.  I suggest getting her into some helpful therapy to teach her how to cope with her emotions, but someone who specializes in molestation.  Some counselors will do more damage than good if they aren't specialized in that particular area.  Children who are molested at a young age are emotionally blocked and stunted at that age.  So even as my husband grew older, he had the emotional capacity of a 3 year old... doesn't mean he 'acted' like a 3 year old, but any emotions beyond a 3 year old level causes them to act out in funny ways (usually sexually, tempur tantrums, fear, paranoia, manipulation and countless others)  I hope you can find her the help she needs sooner than later, before she begins to act out in ways that will be dangerous to herself or others.

Answer 6

yes i have been thru this my child is 5 and we have recently found out that she had been molested by her 8 yr old cousin from what we know it only happened 1 or 2 times but we are taking her to a child therapist and like someone said before in child therapy everything is thru play that they do,so they will never come out and just ask about what happened or make the child feel uncomfortable in any way so i strongly suggest you take her to someone.call your church or insurance company and tell them what u are looking for or if nothing else just look in the phonebook,but i wouldnt wait around this is serious and she doesnt need to be blaming herself.she can be a survivor thru all this if u take the necessary steps to get her treated.as a mother i know how u feel it is absolutley devastating to go thru something like this,and if u would like to talk further please email me at [e-mail]

Answer 7

i think you need to take her to a child therapist and see. through play, you will find out more of what is on her mind, and what is scaring her. and it might help but surely could not hurt!

Answer 8

My first memory is at the age of 2! Its not really so much a memory as it is a snapshot of moments that happened when around the age of 2-3! But you have to understand that even if she doesnt actually "remember" the molestation, it happened to her and is in her subconscious now and will be there forever. She may not understand why she does what she does but the molestation has played a role and will continue to play a role in her life. She should definitely be taken to a psychologist and gotten some help for her issues.

Best of Luck

~D~

Answer 9

I remember many things that happened to me at even 18 months and that was 70 years ago.

Answer 10

From what I understand, age 3 is approx when they are able to remember long-term.  I would imagine that even if she can't remember it that it has effected her in many ways.  (Has she been to counseling?)  I can tell you, for me anyway, I remember 1-2 things from that age but I only remember "happy moments", not anything negative.  (For example, I remember being on my dads shoulders while he walked down the road to Dairy Queen for ice cream.  I have no idea *why* I remember that but it's my first thought when I think back to that age.)  

Just remember... at that age, children blame anything that goes wrong on themselves.  She really does need some professional help to move on if she isn't getting it already.

Answer 11

Yes they can remember. Especially something so traumatic. There is a good chance that horrible event is one of her first memories and I'm so sorry this happened to her. It could even be that part of her mind knows something happened to her, but she doesn't consciously remember the event. Your daughter needs you to be her voice and go get another doctor and tell them that you KNOW your daughter has something going on inside her head that she needs help with! Don't take no for an answer. The help you get her early on will make all the difference later on in life. I wish you and your daughter the best of luck in dealing with this.

Answer 12

Get her in to counseling and then get a new pediatrician. My adopted Nephew was horribly abused at 2 (adopted by my bro at 3) he is now 14 and even though has had a loving environment for the past 11 years he has emotional problems. He does not remember what happened to him, his doc told my bro the same thing. I can't help but think if he had had the benefit of continuous counseling at a younger age he may not have the issues he has now. Follow your gut mom, get your child help. Good luck to both of you.

Answer 13

My son said to me the other day that he had a wee in playgroup and he did he was only 2 i was amazed!