Can enyone provide insight on custody and visitation for 5 month old? Father moved 500 miles from us.?

Question

Father left me when I was 9 months pregnant for his best friend fiance. Our son is now 5 months. He's not yet served with papers to pay child support, has not been in our sons life hardly at all and has since moved 500 miles away and won't tell me where he's living. Now says that he wants our son for 6 months out of the year (probably b/c he doesnt want to pay support). Prior to him leaving I asked him numerous time to discuss visitation and he never made the time. Any insight would be great! I'm so worried that a court is going to make me send my son to him! I'm still breastfeeding too. Does anyone have any idea how long distance visitation works for a child of this age??>>

Answer 1

For one the judge will take into consideration the fact that this man hasn't been in the child's life so far and abandoned him.  This will probably be enough cause for the judge to tell your ex where he can stick it.  

There is also the fact that this is an infant we are talking about, and breastfed at that.  There's no way it's going to happen.  

Get a lawyer and discuss your options.  Point out the fact that he hasn't provided for this child for the entirety of his life and that you don't expect that will change.  Get him to pay child support and don't let the kid see him except for supervised visitation.

Answer 2

Why hasnt he been served with child support yet? I would have taken care of that right away. And never ever would I agree to allow anyone take my child for 6 months out of the year especially 500 miles away. That would be confusing to that baby and make him feel unstable I am sure. His father didnt show any concern or interset in the child when he lived close, so get him for child support. And do not waste anymore time on it.

Answer 3

well if i remember right, the visitation is negotiable. but u need a lawyer and when the kid gets older he get to choose who he stay with

Answer 4

studies have shown that shared custody, where the child shuttles between homes, is very damaging to their social, emotional, and mental development.

better is to leave the child in the home and the parents swap residences.

but since he decided to move that far away, i guess it really sucks to be him.

Answer 5

A court would never agree to that kind of arrangement for an infant. Never. And especially for a breast-fed child.

You should probably get an attorney, just to be prepared. But if you didn't put his name on the birth certificate, and if you aren't seeking child support, it is entirely up to him to seek shared custody -- and with shared custody, there will be a child support order, assuming your income isn't significantly greater than his.

Answer 6

that would never happen a court would never agree with an arrangement like that for a child that young and still being breastfed

Answer 7

When a child is that young, normally it stays with the parent or guardian who can support it.  When I was 6 and my sister was 3 our parents split up for the last time, and we stayed with our mother primarily.  We also had a fair distance between our parents, one being in Canada (our mother moved back to her birth country) and one being in the US.  My father never had much money, but through the court system he was told to pay a small amount of child support a month.  It wasn't enough, but it was something.  I doubt the court system in your cause would have the child live away from you for an extended period of time, especially if you are breastfeeding.  They will most likely tell the father that he would have to come visit the child every other weekend, and also still pay child support.  I would definitely look into the paper work to have him pay child support, and possibly find a lawyer in your area that can help you better with this, as every situation is different.

Good luck with everything.  I hope your son has a healthy and happy upbringing.  :)

Just remember that fighting in front of the child will most likely aid in his growth in a negative way, so do everything you can to keep a smile on your face for his sake.