Can having a hard partying mother have a negative impact on toddler children's development?

Question

Facts please! I'm trying to explain to my husband why I don't want to go out and he claims I'm just making excuses..

Answer 1

i don't see any harm in going out every week or so to have dinner, movie or whatever with your husband.  you have to make time as a couple or the family unit won't survive.  but the kids should be properly taken care of by responsible people.  but 'hard partying' is another story.  sounds like hublet may have some issues beginning that you may need to discuss with him.

Answer 2

If youre getting trashed all the time then yes its a bad idea. I dont see any problem in putting the kids to bed and getting a sitter for the night. You dont need to close down the bar but you should probably agree on at least one of you not drinking (as much) so in the morning that one will be able to take care of the kid. I have been in childcare for over 15 years and this is the method most of the parents prefer. Take turns on who is drinking and who is on morning kid detail.  

Answer 3

yes, so stay home

Answer 4

Trust me when i say this, my mother always like to party and dance when i was a kid, and i hated every second of it. Now I'm 24 years old and i have never been able to act right in certain party's i start feeling abandoned and miserable. I'm saying this because THIS IS HOW TRULY FEEL.. Now sometimes my girlfriend sometimes bothers her that i don't go out much. We have a 3 month old and i will never leave his sight as long as he needs me.

Answer 5

It's all about priorites and balance.  All of the parenting articles I have read said that getting out of the house once in a while is good for the parents, as it lets them have time to reconnect as a couple.  But none of that reading said anything about "hard partying".  On the personal experience side, I've had friends to occasionally went out to the clubs, but the kid(s) were always having a sleepover at a friends house or had the grandparents staying over.  Gave the mommy's time to cut loose and recover the next morning while ensuring the kids are taken care of by trustworthy people.

Answer 6

The fact is that if you and your husband are out partying all evening and you leave your kids unattended, really bad things can happen.  Your kids have enough trouble going to bed at a decent hour so that they get enough sleep as it is without having to deal with mom and dad leaving them in the evening too.  If you come home drunk there is an increased chance you'll say or do something to or in front of the kids that you'll regret later too.  I don't know what any scientific studies say, but I know friends who grew up with parents who drank and partied a lot.  They resented their parents for being gone so much and for coming home drunk.  

Answer 7

Is your husband wanting you to go out and party until all hours or just take in dinner and a movie?

If all he wants is a "date night," it will be great for both of you.  If he wants you to go party till all hours...heck I NEVER did that.

So if your husband really wants you to party all night and claims you're making excuses, just say, "Fine. They're excuses.  I'm still not going."

All the best.

Answer 8

I know you want facts and I did a few searches to come up with some hard facts for you... one sight was marriage.about.com... went to their forum but didn't have anything related to your problem but go there... put this question out there and see what feed back you get.

To me... It would be okay to go out one night a week as a "couple"... if you have a quality babysitter... not just anybody...  (I mean QUALITY) and if it doesn't cut in to money to pay the bills... and if the reasons are for the two of you to get out to keep the marriage tight... but if in your heart you know it's because he is itching to get back out on the scene... like it might have been when he was single and he knows he has to take you along to get a away with it... I would be like "no way...

I have scene where married friends start the bar thing... and it 90% of the time ended in a disaster... you sound like you know whats right and do what feels right for you... you can't go wrong there.

hope this helps;-)))