Can i counter act the side effects of Aunt E's distillery

Question

The other day whilst visiting Great Aunt E (103) in the east wing of Shaftsworthy Manor, I discovered she had been distilling in her bath tub a concoction of Acetone, Old Spice and Nitro Morse, she appeared to be completely three sheets to the wind and was talking to the green elephant that was walking on the ceiling?

Now being an adventurous man one had in the interests of science participated in a small tipple or five in order to discount any potential hazardous side effects.

Unfortunately a week later I still can’t see out of my right eye or feel my left leg.

Is this a common side effect and if so is there anything I can add to counter act this slight inconvenience.

Answer 1

Ha yes, the old acetone/old spice/nitro mix, tricky one this, right eye and left leg eh? have you tried the age old antidote for warthog bite? a heavy mixture of :

1) a glass of methylated spirits (about half a pint)

2) a fair measure of dry sherry (about half a pint)

3) a cinnamon stick

4) crushed garlic (16 cloves)

5) a level tablespoon of used cat litter

6) a pinch of black pepper (about 1/4 lb)

Stir together and drink in one go, if you are still alive after 25 seconds, your sight and the use of your legs will be restored, (hopefully)

Answer 2

Who needs more than one eye or feeling in more than one leg?  Shape up, man.  Are you an Englishman, or what?

Is Great Aunt E visitable yet?  We need to discuss our appearance with our new make-up remover on the Dragons' Den - if there are any supplies left.

Answer 3

Stand on your head - Bagthorpe (87) can assist with this - and take a tipple whilst thus inverted, hopefully this will counter the previous effects.

Then shoot the bally elephant.

Answer 4

I would have to experiment myself, in order to be able to test and validate an antedote.

Although I might try and see if the green elephant likes cherries and get him off my leg and out of my way so I can see past him.

Answer 5

Simply ride the elephant into the sunset old chap!