Can i delay a letter so it arrives after a few weeks?

Question

i wanna mail myself some surprise gifts and my snake and letters saying i dont need to do the medical talking any more and i know what i am talking about because Dr Macy is only a woman anyway. but i want to make them come in the mail after a few weeks when i forgot i sent them so they are a surprise to me when they arrive and i can beleive them more and also think my snake went on holiday and has a tan.

how do i get the mail man to keep them for a few weeks before delivering them back. he's too quick like he must hot foot it from the post office i used right back to my front door the next morning and thats no good!

Answer 1

I have never read anything more ridiculous than your question. Change your medication it's not working.

Answer 2

Tie the mail man's shoe laces together, maybe that'll slow him down a bit, and create a minefield of dog poo.

Answer 3

Good and bad news travel in the same speed .You may receive  it as you please .