Can i have some ones opinion on this poem??

Question

ok im 14. i wrote this poem....just wondered who liked it and who didnt.

i hold the blade against my wrist

as i feel the high

im clenching my fist

blood falls into tears

and those tears hit the floor

everythings gone

even the fears.

all because of you

i do this

just to get the bliss

of what it feels like

to be alright

to feel numb without you on my mind

like theres something more to find

as i hold my wrist

it comes to me

the time when we last kissed

but now your gone

and nothings alright

so i lay here at night

gazing at the stars

with nothing but scars

Answer 1

May I tweak it a little?

I hold the blade against my wrist

I feel the high

My clenching fists

Blood falls to tears

The tears to the floor

The world is gone

The fears are no more.

You

are why I do this.

Just for the bliss

To feel what it's like

To be alright.

To feel numb

With you left behind.

Like there's something I'll find.

As I hold my wrist

I can see

When we last kissed.

You are gone.

I am wrong.

Nothing is alright.

I am alone in this night.

Gazing at the stars

With nothing but scars.

I'm sorry if I ruined it for you, but I prefer it this way.

Answer 2

It's not a joyful poem, but I love the "nothing but scars..." finishing line!

Nice job.

Answer 3

I think it is very descriptive of the mindset of a cutter, and this makes up for the repetition (which in general, I despise.)

Keep up the good work, and if you are cutting, it is a good thing to keep talking about it to people. Try telling some face2face ones though.

Answer 4

It's a good poem since it is very expressive, and descriptive.

But you don't have any metaphors, and it's not very original.

By the way, don't cut yourself, no one is worth it.

For a 14 year old it's good though.  

Answer 5

This is a very good poem..

everything flows great!

but are you speaking on behalf of yourself?

take care!

Answer 6

Well, this poem is nice but sad.  Is this going to be a series or just won of those poems that just came to mind?