Can i have you opinions please?

Question

Me and my boyfriend are talking about getting engaged but im 18 and his 19, weve been together for 10 months and i know he is the one because i have had 2 previous long term relationships and this is different. I want to know if you think im too young and how old was you when you got engaged? if your not engaged would you get engaged at 18?

Answer 1

Even if you think he's the one then 18 is probably still too young to make a  commitment. But if you were to get engaged, plese take the advice others have given. Give yourselves plenty of time before committing to marriage or having a family - you will change so much in the coming years and so will he. I married at 19 because I thought I was so mature - looking back I wasn't at all! Had two children and divorced within 5 years - not good! Looking back I wish someone had sat me down and talked to me. Don'e regret my children though - they're great!

Answer 2

If marriage can wait, why get engaged?

I was engaged at 22, married at 24, divorced at 29. We just grew apart - sometimes these things happen.

Just out of curiosity, how long did your 'long term relationships' last? I just ask because you're only 18 now - you don't seem old enough to have had what I class as long term relationships. No offence meant.  

Answer 3

I would not get engadged but this is your choice if u feel ready then do it. But 10 months isnt really a long time. You should really think about it more and consider all the things u still might have to go to college and study. But whatever you do im sure it will work out in the end just talk it over more with your boyfriend and be happy like you are now you can wait a little longer and then decide but for the moment i would really not think about it that much and just wait.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

I was 19 when my fiance and I first met.  I probably would've taken the plunge then, to be honest.  But we dated for a couple years.  I'm 22 now and feel like our relationship has matured and I feel we're ready.

But what does "ready" mean anyway?  People were engaged at 13 sight unseen for centuries.  

So it's up to you.  If he proposes and you love him and you want to marry him, say yes. If he doesn't propose right away and waits a little bit (like my man), don't rush him.  

It's a lot of fun being in the dating stage of a relationship.  

Answer 5

I dont know about "too early" to get engaged...but it should be a long engagement. atleast a couple years. That way you still have the happiness of looking forward to a marriage, but if it doesnt work out in a few years, you wont have to go through a divorce.

Answer 6

You two do whatever is right for you and don't allow anyone to dictate your life. This may not be a mistake, but it may be, you won't know until you try..

Figure out how long you two plan in being engaged, will you be able to afford the type of wedding you want? Are you wanting to live together?

Answer 7

wayyyy to long. you have the rest of your life ahead of you! what about college and your education. you haven't even dated for a year! i would say, stay together but wait until your older and see if your relationship works out. i wouldn't get engaged at 18.  

Answer 8

personally id wait til uv moved in together then u really no if its meant to be huni

xx

Answer 9

Engaged at 19 after dating two years(best friends for four before that) and now we're getting married at 22 after we both finished college.  

Answer 10

I think that you are to young. I would not get engaged at the age of 18, even if the person is right for me. We would have to be at least 25yrs or older and be kinda settled down in our careers. I'm sure you want a nice wedding, and y'all may not have the kind of money to throw a wedding the way you would want to. y'all have only been together for 10mths, that's not long enough to determine if you are ready to settle down.  

Answer 11

I was engaged at 17 and married right out of high school.  When things got tough...so did he. By not waiting to see how we handled things as a "couple" what I didn't realize was that he could be violent. We had been dating since the day I turned 16...and NEVER in that year did he EVER show anything but love, and sweetness. I was shocked right out of my boots!  He proceeded to beat  me for 3 yrs and left me for dead on the kitchen floor! Luckily I lived.  At such a young age (and not always because there are those 1 in a million) you just do not know how things will be.  Go to college or get a job you can enjoy for a while out of school and live it up a little, learn what and who makes you truly happy!

Answer 12

To be honest I wouldn't hurry in engaging, even if I were 30 or 18. I would really like to try every possibility before making that step. As someone previously said before me, with 18 I would go to college and finish it, and if by then you still think you should get married, because he is still the one and only you would love to spend the rest of your life with, than yeah, go right ahead.

Now I am 25 and I wouldn't have gotten engaged at that age, as I really wanted to see what the world has to offer and not stop at the one I think now is the best for me.

Answer 13

I would say wait until you've been together for a year and a half. Then move in together for a year. Then get engaged. If you two are still truly in love then it is meant to be. But I wouldn't rush things. My husband (34) and I (28) were together for 7 years before we got engaged. I wanted to be married earlier than that, but I'm glad it worked out the way it did. We were able to do a lot of things we won't have been able to do otherwise. And we had fun the whole time! Good luck!

Answer 14

Personally, knowing what I know with my luck, I'd say no for me. Everyone is different and they need to discover on their own if they have found that special someone. My friend has a similar situation but has spent less time with this new bloke. She's already had 2 failed marriages and now is entering a possible engagement. Maybe 3 times the charm will work for her. Anyway, my point is that things need to be discovered by you and you alone. If you feel you're ready, then the best of wishes for you and I hope you have found that Mr. Right.

Answer 15

i was 27. i knew him for a long time though. you are young, i suggest at least go to school and get some kind of career first. i am not saying you will end up in divorce but you need to hold your own. and even now a days things are so expensive. having a career is great. then save money and buy a house, then have kids. suck up all your 20's cuz when you are 30 you are i guess in the world concidered more of an adult. you are only young once and an adult for a long time.  

Answer 16

My aged and antiquated opinion here . . .

No, I would not get engaged at age 18.  I would go to college at age 18.  If I still loved this man when I turned 22 (after getting my college degree), I would get engaged to him then.

Answer 17

Yeah I would have gotten engaged at 18 had he been able to find "the" ring! If YOU feel ready, then you are ready.

Don't listen to people who say you will regret it, you are making a mistake, or that it's stupid. It may not be right for them, but that doesn't mean it's right or you!

Answer 18

At 18 I was with my husband for a year and then I would of said yes to getting engaged.  I am now 26 & been married a year.  We got engaged in 2005 after 5 years together.  If you would of asked me at 18 I would of said I was ready but looking back I was still very young.

We have been together for nearly 9 years & if you know you are always going to be together then don't rush.

We built our relationship as we went through buying a house & saving for a wedding & now we are saving for a baby.

Honestley it never ever stops!!

Good Luck & don't rush becuase if he is the 'one' then there is no need to rush.

xx

Answer 19

I wouldn't it is quite young and you've got your whole life ahead of you.

And remember that marriage is a commitment to spend the rest of life with this someone, not just a one-off boyfriend (if ya get me)

Just think about what your doing first and make sure this is what you want to do.

No matter what anyone says this is YOUR decision and only you can make it.

I hope your happy with whatever you choose to do. ;D

Answer 20

Calendar age is not a clear depiction of a person's maturity and readiness for life developments. Developmental age is. Meaning? An 18 year old may be ready for what a 40 year old will never be, and vice versa.

If you love each other completely, support each other unfailingly, remember communication, and remain faithful always I don't see any reason why you shouldn't get engaged.

My fiance' and I got engaged at 18 and 22, and will marry next year at nearly 21 and 24. When we had gotten engaged, we had known each other four years, been friends three, and together a year and a half.

I would recommend spending more time together before making that commitment, then settling on a year and a half + engagement, depending on how much time it takes to prepare for a shared life.

Are you both gainfully employed, do you have savings, have you considered schooling (what if your schools are on opposite coasts?), children (that discussion can't wait as they happen despite the best of intentions and birth control), and do you have a place of your own?

Is there anything you want to do with your life that would be hindered by an early marriage?

Answer 21

me and my fiance were 18 when we got engaged and we was dating for 8 months... we're getting married this november 29... we've been through a lot to be so young... but i wouldn't change anything for the world....

Answer 22

I met my husband when I was 20 and he was 19. We knew we were "the one" for each other, and began discussing marriage at one month into the relationship. We officially got engaged at six months. We got married when I was 22 and he was 21. Everyone thought that we were rushing it, but we knew it to be different. It has been a year since we got married, and everything has been super amazing. So I don't really know your maturity level, but my husband and I were very mature for our ages, which is how we knew we could handle a marriage. I know a lot of people who have gotten married at 18, and are still just as happy as the day they got married. So if you feel ready, do it. Have a nice long engagement and enjoy the wedding planning.

Answer 23

To be honest with you, I'm 19 and engaged. I moved in with him at 18, and got engaged this May. I highly suggest living together first (unless you believe you need to be married first). There are days I wake up and can't believe I have a ring on my finger. I do love him, but I feel that I'm way too young. I don't want to call off the engagement, because I am happy, but we're waiting until after my 21st birthday because I'll be done with college by then.