Can i have your thoughts on my poem?

Question

Wrong, False

By: Garhett Marr

I am tired of false propriety

What’s wrong with this society?

Love should be a parade

Not an exploding grenade

Is that all you have to offer

You’re scared by my ability to suffer

They try to beat me down

But you can’t take my crown

I am not the only victim

Oppressed by their dictum

Words are the tools of dictators

But they only create traitors

Once you heard their notion

You where caught up in the motion

Distracted by the commotion

You left out your emotion

So what is the solution?

What can stop this pollution?

I was stricken with the answer

Like a Persian by a lancer

But each person must find their own resolve

Or they can never hope to evolve

In a world so wrong

It’s not always right to belong

Answer 1

Nicely done only one phase stuck me as a little choppy

You’re scared by my ability to suffer

the rhyming it with the verse ahead  to offer, this was a little off while reading it, other than that --very well done ! Thanks for sharing!!  Cheers !!

Answer 2

I like it, it reminds me of poem called "Murder by Society" by a poet by the name of Justin Rockwell who RECORDS his poetry...you can hear it on his myspace page...

http://www.myspace.com/justinrockwellmus...