Can i move out of state with my two kids without my boyfriends consent?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for almost five years. He is also the father of both my girls. I recently moved to Chicago from California with him. I just found out he is cheating and I want to separate. I have no family here in Chicago so I obviously want to go back home to California. Can I get into legal problems if I leave out of state with my kids? We are not married but he did sign both birth certificates. He's already threatened me and said I cannot move out of state without his consent or he'll have me arrested. I just want to know how true this is. I wanna go home. Someone help me.

Answer 1

Girl, Please!!!You can leave. Ya'll not married!!! Go home. Ain't nothing he can do but cry. He cant have you arrested. Just a lie to keep you from leaving. Believe me.

Answer 2

first part of the answer is to get the advice of an attorney but to be sure i think that you might be able to since there in  not a marriage but if they recognize cohabiting as marriage then you would have to have his consent  

Answer 3

Totally legal go and go now before he catches on once you are established he can't bring the kids there and they won't make you move if there is a custody battle. It's not kidnapping if you have custody and it's you're kids! GO FOR IT!!

Answer 4

I would advise you to get a lawyer but since your not married I see no reason why you can't take your kids with you and leave, as far as what others are saying about leaving the kids with him, that would be a stupid mistake on your part, if you leave the kids with him, then he can get you for abandonment, that's not what you want, don't ever leave them with him, I'm dead serious, these other people who wrote those comments didn't even think about the abandonment thing,he could turn it around and say you abandoned him with the kids, if you were married it would be one thing, but your not, so don't be afraid to move on, but I would suggest that once you do move do get a lawyer so he can contact your soon to be ex about liberal visitation. He's using scare tactics to control you into staying, also if the threats continue get a restraining order, that's just more aces up your sleeve and another  legitimate reason t move away from him..Then he can't stop you. I know you would make the right decision and once your settled in come to some sort of compromise about him seeing the children too,you have every right to move back to where your family is and I'm sure you family will be able to guide and help you further, good luck :)

Answer 5

Please listen to me.  You're probably not going to like what I have to say but just hear me out.

Do not move right now, please.  I can understand your desire to go back home.  You're alone, scared, and feel lost and away from home.  However, you moved to Chicago with this man and had his children.  He is their father too -- just as much a parent to them as you are.  It is not fair for you to take the children with you and leave him behind without his kids who he has equally parented and fell in love with for their whole lives.

If you MUST go to California now, leave the kids with him.  I know it will be hard, but you must think of the children.  You don't want to be without your kids, but neither does your ex and he has just as much a right to them as you do, right?  Try to get some sort of custody agreement laid out with him -- he NEEDS to see his daughters as much as possible.  It's not very fair of you to leave with his children.

Wait awhile and see how you feel -- or at least see if you can work something out like he has them during school breaks and the entire summer.  Or, if they're too young for school, you have them for a few months, then he has them for a few months.  Although I must say I feel it is grossly unfair to children to be passed back and forth so frequently and I think you should definitely stay within reasonable driving distance from their father.

Good luck.  Please think of your kids.

Answer 6

I totally agree with Heather.  Please consider your children before you take them away from their father.  What their father is doing is wrong, but they absolutely need to be near him.  Don't deny them a close relationship with him.  It won't be easy for you but your daughters will appreciate it in the long run.  My mother moved us away from our father and I'll regret that for the rest of my life.  My stepchildren were moved away from their father and they are suffering for it.  Think about them before you act.

Answer 7

He's right... and if you do leave you will also have trouble getting custody of your kids. A court could order that they live with him and you have chaperoned visits. You want to stay put. And he can force you to stay there until the kids are grown. Contact a lawyer in your area for better clarification of the laws in Chicago