Can i not invite a guest who was invited to my shower?

Question

would it be rude if i didn't invite a guest who was invited to my shower and never showed up? she replied she was going to the shower, and just never came! had no good excuse, and has since never called or emailed me. this aslo resulted in my bridesmaids losing out on money for her meal that they paid for. i'm thinking she might be offended if i don't send her an invite to the wedding now, but it really offended me that she never showed up, and never called me.and who's to say that she might just not show up to the wedding last minute!

any thoughts?

Answer 1

Miss Manners tells us that the only acceptable excuses for missing a seated meal to which one has committed will involve either emergency medical services, mortuary services, or a sudden summons to The White House. Cross the mannerless twit off your guest list. Weddings are to be shared with people who CARE about you, not just any old name that happens to take up space in your address book.  

Answer 2

Ordinarily, I'd say you must invite her because all shower guests are supposed to be invited to the wedding.  But this situation gives me pause.

She didn't show up to the shower -- but did she send a shower present?  If she did, then I think you have to invite her to the wedding.

If she didn't send a present, then I think you can consider not inviting her to the wedding.  The rule that all shower guests get a wedding invite doesn't take into consideration shower invitees who behave like rude pigs after they receive their shower invitation.  You don't say how you know her -- if she is a family member, it's going to be tough to exclude her from the wedding without drawing fire from the rest of the family.  But if she's a more distant acquaintance whose friendship is already strained by her flakiness, I don't see why you can't cut her loose.  Just understand that, no matter what, you run the risk that she will be PO'd by the snub, and your relationship may be permanently damaged.

Good luck.

Answer 3

no it's considered 'rude' to do that.

i understand that the guest was rude by not attending your shower.. but why not be the bigger person here. two wrongs don't make a right.

Answer 4

I don't know, I've been to two wedding showers and wasn't invited to either wedding, but I happened to have appendicitis during the first wedding and kidney stones during the second one so I didn't care at the time (though that may have been due to all the vicodin, LOL) or it may have been that the bride didn't know my address cause I was in college and moving in and out of dorms and my house and my apartment like crazy... I lived in 3 different places in one month at one point.

Answer 5

Yes it would be rude and petty.

Brides need to remember that the earth does not revolve around them.  She RSVP'd and couldn't make it.  Sucks for you but such is life.  To hold a grudge against her is petty and immature.

Answer 6

She was hung over, so she obviously has a problem with alcohol.  She probably would come to your wedding if you have an open bar, as long as she did not stay out all the night before drinking.  I would suggest that you NOT invite her to your wedding bash.  She sounds like a poor example of womanhood, and who wants a sl*t like that at your wedding.  Also, I would say you don't have to invite anyone you don't want to.  And, as far as hurting her feelings, she obviously did not care about hurting yours.  So, scr*w her and don't invite her.  And, if she asks,, just say you had to "trim the list" a little bit, and leave it at that.

Answer 7

My opinion is that it's your day, do as you wish.  You don't >have< to invite anyone to anything, and if someone else is hurt by the fact that you didn't invite them, well then, to that person: "Life's hard, get a helmet"

If she didn't care enough about your shower to watch her drinking the night before, you shouldn't care enough to invite her to the wedding.

Answer 8

Have you contacted her to find out what happened?  Maybe she did have a good excuse and didn't think you'd be so bent simply because her own life got in the way of your little party.

Yes, it would be very rude not to invite her.  On the grand scale of things, her missing your shower is incredibly unimportant.  This is meant to be a happy time in your life and so many brides get too sucked into the tiny details.  Get over it and focus on more important things like the new chapter of your life just around the corner.