Can i talk to Kids Help Phone about school problems?

Question

I'm having alot of social problems at school about how i'm "not fitting in" and i'm kind of shy...nervous about being a highschool freshman and having trouble making friends, talking to people and getting along.

I know my problem isn't really bad. This is too private and embarrassing to talk to with my parents or past friends and i want to have some comfort and help. I just need someone to talk to since i have no one =(

Do you think it's okay if i talk to the kids help phone people about this sort of stuff? Will they listen and help me out with it?

Like will they give me tips on how to make friends and if i should transfer schools or not?

Answer 1

Beleive it or not, I was one of those kids just like you thoughout much of my elementary through high school days.  I did not have many friends for much of school.   It was not until my mom put into my IEP for social skills training in 12th grade that I started learning some of these skills.  Someone had to teach them to me, I was not a natural at learning them and I feel that there are many others out there like you and I.  I wish schools would do something about diagnosing and helping those with social skills deficits or those that don't fit in.

I believe there is a whole "hidden curriculum" that goes on in terms of high school behind the scenes.   Some of it involves knowing the proper protocols for concerts, dances, sports, clubs, ASB, pep rallies, lunchtime fun, and more.   At the high school level, people are expected to know about dating and boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.   It involves knowing how to be a friend.  It also involves everyday etiquette.  

Sadly, the academic teams in a lot of high schools don't help in this arena much.  I would also pursue some etiquette training, but this could be expensive.  But I would start by asking your teachers for help getting involved in the hidden curriculum.  I would also see what things your high school offers in terms of sports, clubs, dances, concerts, and the many other extracurricular activities.  I would also see where other kids hang out in the area.  Then, I would pick something you are interested in and go to the event and see if you like it.

Additionally, I would try to get a list of the major events that high school offers.  For example, if this is a major comprehensive type high school, I would try to go to at least one football game, one basketball game, one dance, one concert, and one play during the school year at minimum.   If this is a smaller high school such as a "small schools" type program, alternative school, vocational school, or charter school, I would at least go to some of the major extracurricular activities they offer which might be different from a traditional comprehensive high school.

In regard to making friends, I would try to be kind to others, talk to others at lunch and passing period as a start.  I would also try to get to know a few classmates in each period.   See then if some of the people you meet would join you at lunch, possibly meeting you at some part of the cafeteria or lunch area at your school.   Share your interests and hobbies with them.  Maybe you will find someone who has similar interests, or they will know some people with similar interests.  

If people are being rude to you all the time, or you are being bullied for not fitting in, there is likely an etiquette and civility problem at your school.  To fix this, I would go to the principal and your teachers and encourage them to do something.

I personally wish that more schools would take the social and extracurricular issue seriously and work to identify and work with kids who may have deficits in the social skills arena.  I beleive there are many more out there who have problems fitting in at school, and many kids who grow up with no friends and end up missing out on fun extracurricular activities.  Many special ed students fall in this category.   I am active on the conference circuit giving lectures on this very topic, among other topics.

In regard to asking others, including the helpline, I feel that you should be open to asking them.  The worst thing they can do is tell you they don't help with this issue.  I would also talk to your teachers too on this issue, as well as your parents.  Getting an etiquette book may help you some too.

If you e-mail me at [e-mail] I will send you a copy of my "Autopsy of the Hidden Curriculum" Powerpoint slide show.  It covers a lot issues related to the social curriculum of school ranging from friends, to extracurricular activities, manners, relationships, etc.  I originally made it for special ed teachers and kids with disabilities who often have deficits in the social skills arena.

Some other links that can be helpful include:

http://www.operationrespect.org

http://www.emilypost.com

http://www.mannersmith.com

Answer 2

I'm a freshman too. If u wanna talk u can email me at [e-mail]

Answer 3

well if your having trouble with finding friends then find 1 person in each of your classes and try to talk with them about random stuff and during lunch time try and hangout withh your old friends

i know how you feel imma freshman too

if you wanna talk or f you just need a friend then just email me [e-mail]

Answer 4

no