Can my bf and i have a wedding in a catholic church with a priest if he is not catholic?

Question

i am catholic and have been trying to get him to convert, but i also care about his happiness in the long term. i'm trying to find out more information so we can compromise on this issue, and would appreciate any help!

Answer 1

okay it really depends on the church and who the priest is. Some will allow it, some will not.  Some will ask that he be baptized in their church first.  So it really depends.  Go in and talk to your priest see if he will allow it.

Answer 2

Yes you can. Sorry do not know the details but my cousin got married in the church and her husband is not Catholic. They may ask you to go to classes first. My parents redid their vows on their 20th year in the Catholic church. Congratualtions enjoy your beautiful day no matter where it is

Answer 3

Absolutely you can get married in a Catholic church if one or the other is not Catholic.  They will usually not do a full Mass, or your boyfriend will just not be able to receive the Eucharist.  A sensitive priest will explain the meaning of the sacrament and why so that everyone there can understand what's going on also.

Make sure the priest you choose is sensitive to both your feelings and not pressing the conversion issue.  Some are a bit more laid back than others.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Yes, you can marry a non-Catholic in your parish. He doesn't have to convert -- and shouldn't until he wants to. You need dispensation, but these things happen all the time.

Set up a meeting with your priest to find out everything you need to know about having a Catholic wedding rite between you and your non-Catholic fiance.

P.S. Congratulations on your engagement!  

Answer 5

It will depend on your diocese and church. Some will hassle you more than others.

In my diocese, you will have to get permission from the bishop (which is pretty much rubber-stamped nowadays for this) to marry a non-Catholic.

In addition, you will have to take a course. In Fort Worth diocese, we don't usually do pre-Cana; there's an alternate course we use instead.

In addition, you will have several classes and meetings to have with the priest/deacon, church, and sponsor couples for marriage.

Your husband-to-be will have to promise to allow you to continue to practice your faith and to raise your children within the faith.

It's recommended here that you not have a Nuptial Mass because you're husband will not be allowed to receive Communion and starting a marriage by separating the two of you is not really good symbolism. However, if you really insist, you can have one.

The Fort Worth diocese recommends that you allow at least 8 months to prepare for marriage within the Church.

My husband is not Catholic and we married within the church. As a "mixed" couple, we now teach the wedding preparation class for my church.

Answer 6

If he is Not Catholic the eyes of the church sees your marriage as invalid,None existence.

Answer 7

Well, the priest would have to be Catholic. (sorry, you worded it awkwardly!)

Yes, it's possible - but only if your bf would agree to raise any children you may have to be Catholic. You would have to go talk to your parish priest about this.

Does your bf have any religion in his background, or just none? That may have a bearing as well.

I think more importantly is YOU thinking about how this would all affect your married life and future family. Do you want to be celebrating holidays? Do you want to have your whole family to attend church services and celebrations together? What part do you want faith to have in your home?

Answer 8

I believe you don't even need to be engaged to take pre-Cana in a lot of places. Go to that to help you figure out if you want to do that. As long as he is Christian you can have a Mass (not a good idea) or a regular liturgy of the word to celebrate. If he isn't baptized then you have a modified liturgy of the word, but the nuptial celebration is the same (it's just not considered to be sacramental).

If you want to get married other than by an RC priest or deacon (e.g. a minister of another denomination or another faith) then you will need to get a dispensation from form from the bishop. He will have to agree that you can raise the children RC (although he no longer has to promise to do this).

Please note that each diocese and each parish will have rules in addition to this, and some will refuse to marry the couple if one is not RC (why, I don't know, but that's their choice).

Oh, and from the interfaith portion of my pre-Cana course - don't try to have him convert. Have respect for each others' beliefs.

Answer 9

You really should talk to your priest about this.

When my parents got married, my Mom was Catholic and my Dad wasn't, but he converted.

When my husband's parents got married, his dad was Catholic and his mom wasn't.  All they had to do is say that they were going to raise their children as Catholics.  She didn't have to convert (although, after many years of marriage, recently did convert to Catholicism.)

Your priest can give you a better idea about what the church requires.

Answer 10

It depends on the priest and the church. He may have to go for counseling. They may make him say he will raise the children catholic. You need to contact your Church and ask.  

Answer 11

I married my non-Catholic fiance in church, but that was in1949 and rules may have changed. The best thing to do is consult your pastor.

Answer 12

My RE teacher is catholic and is marrying a Protestant.

She had to go to the Bishop of the Dioceses and ask for permission from him.

Answer 13

yes.  My sister is getting married in a catholic church, and she's not catholic.

And, even if the church doesn't acknowledge the marriage, it's still official in legal terms.  Your priest isn't going to shun you later on while attending mass for your unacknowledged marriage.  It only becomes an issue if you get divorced.  because even if they don't technically acknowledge your marriage, you will have to get it officially annulled within the church to be able to remarry in the catholic church again.

So, don't worry about it, he doesn't need to convert.  people do it all the time.

And, as far as a course before marriage... most churches want you to take a pre-marriage course of sorts.  So, it's not just because one person or the other isn't catholic.  Its so the priest can be comfortable with your intentions to marry.

Answer 14

It all depends on your priest...and he has to be baptized.

I wouldn't force him to convert if he doesn't want too...I would let him decide that for himself...that's his personal right.

I have found that my church wouldn't marry us...but another one would...for a large fee.

we decided that god was watching over us no matter what...saved money and got married at a local conservatory!

Answer 15

Is he baptised? I think this is a requirement. You may also need to attend some kind of marital lesson, to show the church you are religious and stuff... Best thing to do is ask at your local church

Answer 16

yeah, you can....

Answer 17

my mom and dad got married in catholic church and my dad isnt catholic..they had to go to some church course thing in order for them to marry there [that was like 25 years ago though]. talk to a priest at the church you want to marry in and ask him how you go about it, he will help you right away.

Answer 18

most Catholic churches are more open about this now.  Call around you local ones and see what their guide lines are.  Many require 6 months of "counseling" with the priest first but many require this even if both are Catholic.  I am Catholic and work next door of my church and the most recent wedding was a Catholic and Jew (they put on their limo Catholic+Jew= Cashew it was so cute).  Sometimes they might give you a pennants like you can't have communion for X amount of time for marring a non catholic, but like I said many are open to it these days usually there is no problem with it.  My friend they just did a shorter services with out communion because his wives whole side was non religious, and he didn't have any pennants.  Good luck and congratulations.

Answer 19

depends on the church and how strict they are.  Some will not view your marriage as valid and will not allow the marriage in the church..../

Answer 20

Yes.

The Catholic Church allows marriage between Catholics and non-Catholics.

Because the Church recognizes the tremendous challenge that the interfaith couple will face, they may have to get permission from the bishop.

For more information, see the Catechism of the Catholic Church, sections 1633-1637: http://www.usccb.org/catechism/text/pt2s...

With love in Christ.

Answer 21

Sorry,  but you'd have to ask your Priest this q.  I know, he'd have to take some classes,  & possibly convert,  but he'd be able to give you  more information, if you don't want to ask him, then call another town's catholic church,   I left the catholic church 5 yrs ago,  I was so sick of the  Deceit, Hypocrits,  they come to church, then leave to go sin, drink, swear, beat their kids,  it's sad........  I have a wonderful new church & church family.......   good luck,  a part of me will always be catholic, but we are not anymore.......  

Answer 22

It actually comes down to the church and the priest marrying you. Some priests are incredibly traditional and will require him to convert, others would be willing to do it on the promise that the children will be raised Catholic. Others might require him to take a "Catholicism for Beginners" course and most will require classes or counseling for the both of you. Just talk to the priest at the church you want to get married in.  

Answer 23

I think he has to change his religion, or whatever it is called. I forget the word.

Answer 24

Yes you can. You have to get a dispensation from the bishop of your diocese.  You will have to attend pre-Cana and parish preparation stuff, and he will likely have to promise to raise your children in the Catholic faith.

I wouldn't force him to convert.  If he's open to the idea then that's fine, but making him do it could cause hard feelings.  As long as he doesn't have a problem with you practicing your religion and will be willing to support you in raising your children Catholic if that's your wish, then fine.

If he does decide to convert, it's a pretty easy process. He would enter the RCIA preparation program at your church, which starts in the fall and usually goes until Easter, when the RCIA candidates are baptized/confirmed.

Incidentally, if he's not Catholic but is another Christian religion, you can have two officiants, your priest and a minister of his faith.  I believe the rule is that the priest has to be the one to perform the actual ceremony, but it is okay to have a dual faith service.  Again, for this you have to get permission from your bishop.

Answer 25

No.  He has to be Catholic to get married in the church.  The Catholics are pretty closed minded about this stuff.  

Answer 26

Yes you can. You will have to take a pre-canna course and he will have to agree to raise the children Catholic. After the Second VAtican Counsel in the 60's the Catholic Church changed. In the past you could still marry outside of your faith, however most times the priest married you in the rectory.

Answer 27

Why don't you talk to the Priest about your concerns.He will give you all the answers you need about how you can go about getting married in a catholic church.

Answer 28

if he takes a pre-marriage course with you & agrees to raise any kids you have as catholics.

Answer 29

You can, contact the priest and let him know.  You will still have to take pre-marital classes for about a year.  But yes you can marry without converting.  

Answer 30

yes you can marry in the church. he doesnt have to convert. you must be married in the catholic church to baptize your kids catholic however.  

Answer 31

You may want to speak to your priest about such a case.  I think that the Church may want him to agree to raise the children as Catholics, even if he himself doesn't convert and then may allow an intermarriage.