Can my depression affect my unborn son?

Question

I am 34 weeks pregnant and have not had the most joyous pregnancy... I am SO happy i am pregnant and can't wait to hold my lil man but my husband and I have been fighting practically routinly (ever other week), I find myself crying on the floor uncontrollably at least 3times a month, we got into 4 real physical altercations... I am just miserable the only thing that makes me happy is shopping for my son, singing to him and everytime he moves it gives me a temp escape... but i know he can hear his mommy cry so much and when my husband gets loud with me it's like my son is almost scared to move or moves uncontrolably like he is scared... my husband says he is happy to be a dad but he doesn't touch or pay any attention what so ever to him... i am in europe and constantly contemplating on going back home (NY, USA) but then i know it will be rough for me goin back to school with a NB on my own, and here even if i am in a loveless marriage the gov't gives us money monthly just for having the baby, healthcare is free, schools are better, my adult education is free...it's a better life here but i just want to be happy... I dont want my son growing up with fighting as the backround noise like i did i hated it & it really ****** me up i mean now i'm with a man who could be my dad.... and even if i left, then my son will be fatherless b/c my hubby says he will never go to see him... i guess i will stay in euro even if i will become a single mom but do you think these first sounds he is hearing will affect his personality & character... i don't want him to be a sad little boy

Answer 1

You have to do what is best for you.  If coming back home will make you happier then you should do that.  If your husband says he is not going to come visit then forget him, that means he was not going to be a good father anyways.  If you are not happy and healthy, there is no way that you will be able to raise a happy and healthy child.  Stress is a very bad thing, i have panic attacks and seizures, it not good for you, i suggest you really consider going off and starting your own life, it may be hard at first, but God won't put anything on you that you can't handle.  Good Luck!!!  

Answer 2

I find what you just said quite disturbing. I have seen it before and your son WILL be emotionally affected by your menatl health problems, especially the attachment disorder and lifestlye you have. I also think its appalling that you are not only bringing a child into the world under these circumstances but are actually sponging off hardworking people to do so.

Person below - having suffered and over come those kind of problems and having a masters degree in psychology I know EXACTLY what I am talking about

Answer 3

Well if you love your husband I would advise that you try and talk to him and explain exactly how you feel and see what he thinks, maybe he doesnt realise his behavior is comletely sole destroying for you.  I am also having a baby and my boyfriend is in a constant bad mood but when I mentioned it to him he has cheered right up and says that he didnt even realise he was doing it in the first place.  If he is not willing to change you will have to do what is best for you and your baby because this relationship is not healthy and will not change unless your husband admits that he has a problem.  You should leave him immdiately you have plenty time for your son to forget all the shouting and have a normal birth and normal attitude to life, if you carry on living in these conditions it is likely your son will be deeply affected.  He may even turn out the same one day because this is the only way of communication that he has been taught.  How would you feel if your son started treating women the way you hate being treated yourself???

I hope you do whats best for you and your baby, and if i were you i would completely ignore the previous comment which was written by someone who clearly doesnt have a clue about what its like to live in the real world.