Can one sing a Siren's song?

Question

Inconsessus Immortalis - monotetra

Who is the god everyone blames

who took you and removed your names,

who played with life these fickle games?

Rise from death's flames, rise from death's flames.

An accident, fragile glass breaks,

divides my heart in two and takes

the winnings in this game high stakes.

And pain awakes, and pain awakes.

And I know time will never tell

the secrets that within you dwell,

and my love could not break the spell.

I knew you well, I knew you well.

Love deep stains every tear I cry,

my heart learns not to question why.

I recognize your spirit nigh.

You did not die, you did not die.

My Siren lover earned her wings,

she plays on heav'n's symphonic strings.

My voice will rise for her; it sings

"Your song still rings, your song still rings."

Answer 1

Beautiful and sad. Your grief is understandable...words are inadequate.

Answer 2

Her spirit must love this as much as I.  A beautiful tribute.

Answer 3

Magnificent!  She can hear you, I promise.

Answer 4

You sing it well,

I cannot find fault

and spirits remain alive if we dare to keep them so.

Answer 5

Very beautiful tribute to Siren. Her song will forever ring.

Answer 6

You've sung her song beautifully.  I'm sure she is smiling on you and  sending her love to you.  This is a  tribute from the heart.

Answer 7

Oh, Eva, this is so beautiful, there are no words.  There is a quality of rebirth in these words, phoenix-like but of the soul. There is such a tender aura around these words, words that I know come from the depths of your heart.  The poem is overwhelming perfection.  Thank you.

Answer 8

Beautiful, magnificent. "Love deep stains every tear I cry", it's very powerful. A moving tribute to someone you obviously knew and loved. Our prayers are with you.

Answer 9

then this true.. omg.

this hurts.

Eva. your friend.

my new one.

Siren

blessed be.

i hope she knows that.

i will go plant her Silver Dust.

to let her see it is so.

a hard clipping will work now.

Senecio cineraria.

one you see at night.

im so sorry Eva. so sorry.

Answer 10

Eva, will there be anyone who would like to read/keep our postings for Siren?  I know if I passed that my family would be glad to see contributions such as this.  

I am still in shock, especially since she and I had exchanged e-mails in regard to poems about Lucifer just a short time ago....and she had just posted the mischievous poem (LOL, OMG etc.) and I could imagine her chuckling when she read the replies. My condolences and thanks for this beautiful poem

Answer 11

Spoken well, and spoken from the heart.  Peace.

Answer 12

I suppose if one was a siren, one could sing a siren's song. Or one could just imitate the siren, but it might not have the same effect.

It's a beautiful poem. Did you write it?

If so, two points:

-Line 5 stalls me. The mid-line comma seems like a problem. Maybe not such a big one, but I find it noticeable.

-In Line 7, I'd say "this game of stakes". I think the "high" seems like a little much.

Answer 13

This is too difficult to read, let alone critique. I feel so bad. I can't believe how sad I am.

Answer 14

You know you have made Siren proud - this is a fine tribute. She is truly missed - I cry. The Siren of the Seas returns to her Ulysses ♥

Answer 15

Most lovely, Bless your tears.

Answer 16

Woah, that's all I can say. Woah. Somebody's poetic!