Can parents favor one child more then another ....?

Question

i think my mom favors and loves my twin more then me do you think that is possible?

Answer 1

This is not only possible, it is probable! My mom favors me, and my dad favors my brothers. People are drawn to, and "favor" those with whom they have the most in common.  

Answer 2

They can, and most either seem to from time to time or actually do, but they probably shouldn't.

The reality is that certain personalities and temperaments are just more compatible, making it likely that each child is probably more likely to "fit" better with either the mom or the dad than other siblings.

It could be a gender thing--sometimes same gender parents & children have more of a bond, and sometimes it's opposite (mama's boys and daddy's girls), it could be a genetic thing, where certain endearing or sympathetic traits are inherited, or an environmental thing, if a family has favored boys or girls, oldest or youngest, etc. due to their unique culture.

It could also be behavioral--sometimes a parent will favor the easiest, most compliant child, one that shares certain skills, aptititudes or interests (sports or music for example), or even one that seems to be "needier".  Some parents naturally favor the champs, others the underdog, for example.

Twins are often sort of mirror images of each other and have opposite temperaments.  There is usually one who is more dominant and extroverted.  If that is you, your mom may feel like the other twin needs more emotional support to come out of his/her shell.  If you are the shy one, then it could be that the mom simply finds your more outgoing sibling easier to communicate with and relate to.  If that trait doesn't explain it, look for others that would make the differences more understandable.  If you are less compliant, for example, try being more cooperative.  Model the type of relationship with your mom that you want to have (live the Golden Rule).

If she is truly being unfair and favors your sibling despite your best efforts, try and respect her as your parent anyway and let go of this unmet need by getting the support you need from others, such as dad, grandparents, a mentor at school, etc.  Learn from this how NOT to parent and resolve to do better if/when given the opportunity.

There is a wonderful story in the Bible of a very similar situation--read the story of Esau and Jacob in the book of Genesis.  Esau was his dad's (Isaac's) favorite, but his mom (Rachel) loved Jacob best.  Some of the consequences of that sibling rivalry are still being felt in the Middle East today, as Esau's descendants became part of what is today's Arab population (Edomites) , while Jacob was an ancestor of today's Jewish people.

So, yes, it's possible, and no, it's not ideal, but hopefully you can work around it and have a healthy relationship with the rest of your family!

Answer 3

Parents aren't supposed to have a favorite but it often seems like that.  I always thought my parents favoured my sister over me.  Then she and I got in an argument and she thought that of me.

If it really starts to bother you, ask your mom.  She may not have noticed she was doing it.

Answer 4

It is hard when you think a parent "favors" a sibling. I don't think favor is the correct word. Maybe your mother has more in common with your twin. Try talking to your mom about how you feel. She may be doing it without knowing. After you talk to her, try to spend more time together.  

Answer 5

Parents can, and often do, seem to favor one child over another.  I love all of my children completely, but based on behavior and personality, I sometimes LIKE one more than another.  I have one daughter who is very sweet and agreeable, and loves to help and do as she is asked.  Obviously I like her more than her argumentative sister sometimes.  

Another thing to consider-- I do not think "fair" has any place in our family.  I do not care if what my children receive is "equal," "fair," or "more."  What I care about is:  are all of their needs being met?  Sometimes one has more need than others, and therefore gets more attention, money, help, whatever.  If your mom is favoring your twin, it may be that he or she has needs that you don't right now.  If that is the case, talk to your mom and say that just because you are not being vocal about your need for attention doesn't mean you don't have it.  Get your need met!!  As you tell your mom what you need to feel favored and loved, she'll probably try to give it to you.  And that is because she loves YOU, not because you are in competition with your sibling.

Hang in there-- your mom is doing her best.  Maybe she just needs help to see where she is lacking.  It's okay to help her do better.

Answer 6

We are not suppose to as parent favor one over the other but at times we do.....especially if one child is always good, no problem...it does not mean that we do not love the other just that we do not have to work hard with this one..,,

Answer 7

I think in most cases... NO parents do not favor one child over the other.  I know in my family, my oldest daughter and I get along better and my husband and our youngest daughter get along better, but I think that has to do with personalities.  I love both my daughters the same.

I think what you are feeling is that it takes a lot more time, at times, to raise twins.  so probably it seems like they favor them more than you, but I really do not think that is true.

Answer 8

yuppp my dad favors my oldest brother more than me and my other bro