Can science help me with this?

Question

I want to use science to crossbreed one of my farts with one of my grandpas farts to create a new strain of hybrid super f**t! How can science help me achieve this?

Answer 1

Hmm.  This is a tough question.  First you will have to get the farts to reproduce.  That would require at least introducing them to one another.  But that opens up a new problem as once a f**t is born it scatters to the wind (although some hang a round for far too long).  So you would have to create a f**t capture apparatus.  The human-subject testing could go on for years.   And then there is the problem of f**t taxonomy.  Can one actually cross breed a 'silent-but-deadly' with a 'toot'?   Scinece can help.  But it may take a lifetime.  No one stays intersted in farts that long.