Can some one proofread this paragraph: earn urself pointss.?

Question

To sum up, the butterflies’ favorite food is nectar. As a full grown animal, they can only eat a type of liquid, and other ones include sap, and juices from fruits. Only at the caterpillar stage, can this insect eat other forms of food. But if the butterfly is indoors, what food will it eat? You can’t bring nectar from real flowers inside, so the butterfly has only one choice. It eats an unhealthy food, that has the same sweetness of nectar, but is harmful for their bodies. By feeding your own pet food that will kill it, you are not helping yourself or the animal.

In conclusion, my position on this issue is that butterflies should remain outdoors, where it can live a better life. A pet is an animal who you can love, and grow attached to. Everyone wants to see their own pet grow before their eyes, but not if it causes harm. Let the butterflies be free, so it can have a longer and healthier life.

this is the end of my essay.

Answer 1

wow..thats good...i dont think that there are any mistakes..=)\\

star on tha!

edit: i cant give anymore stars...=`(

sorry...

Answer 2

This sounds good, not knowing what you talked about in the rest of the report.  The only things that I would suggest are that you say "summarize" (it sounds more scientific than to "sum up" and is better grammatically) and that you mention what the "unhealthy food" is that the butterflies are trying to eat.  You probably mention that elsewhere, but it got me wondering what items you had listed.

Answer 3

OK, here goes.  I tried to put explanations of what I changed in brackets [like this].

To sum up, the butterfly's [Using the plural with "the" implies that it's just a few specific butterflies] favorite food is nectar. As a full grown animal, it [Since I changed the first singular to plural, I had to change this to keep it consistent] can only drink ["a type of" was unnecessary and wordy here, and you don't eat liquids] liquid. Other food sources ["Other ones" is too vague, and this reads better as a separate sentence] include sap and juices from fruits. Only at the caterpillar stage [I removed two unnecessary commas] can this insect eat other forms of food. But if the butterfly is indoors, what food will it eat? You can’t bring nectar from real flowers inside, so the butterfly has only one choice. It eats an unhealthy food, which [I really can't explain why, but "that" just sounds wrong here to me.  If you don't agree, don't change it.] has the same sweetness as ["the same as," not "the same of"] nectar, but is harmful for their bodies. By feeding your own pet food that will kill it, you are not helping yourself or the animal.

In conclusion, my position on this issue is that butterflies should remain outdoors, where they [a plural pronoun to match the plural noun "butterflies"] can live a better life. A pet is an animal whom [I know, nobody says "whom" anymore, but you should still write it as a subject.  If you could rewrite the sentence using "him," use "whom".  If you'd write "he," then use "who."] you can love, and grow attached to. Everyone wants to see their own pet grow before their eyes, but not if it causes harm. Let the butterflies be free, so they [again, this pronoun should be plural] can have a longer and healthier life.

I saw very few actual grammatical mistakes--the two commas I took out really shouldn't have been there, and you had some pronoun trouble at the end--and no spelling errors.  Almost everything else I changed was style--stuff that was technically correct but just didn't sound right.  You write a lot better than most of the folks I know.