Can somebody help me to edit the following two golf instruction paragraphs?

Question

I am writing a short commentary on particular golf training aid and English is not my first language. Can somebody please help me to bring these two paragraphs in digestible form?

“The point of impact—the moment of truth—is the hearth of every golf stroke. If somebody has a heart disease, one cannot simply treat some peripheral organs, like for example livers or kidneys, and expect that the hearth will automatically be cured. Of course, it is important that these organs are healthy, as they can also affect the heart negatively. However, if there is heart disease, the heart has to be treated DIRECTLY.”

“Any golfer that understands that, as for any valuable thing in life, some effort, some austerity is necessary. A beginner has a lot of space to improve his average point of impact radius. An accomplished player can improve it maybe for two or three millimeters. This brings more constant feeling at the impact and consequently more trust in ones shot.”

Answer 1

At impact, the moment of truth, is the heart of every golf stroke. If somebody has a heart disease, one can not simply treat the other vital organs, like for example the liver or the kidneys and expect that this will cure the heart. Of course it is important that these organs are healthy, as they can also affect the heart adversely. My point is, a diseased heart must be treated directly just as a faulty impact position must be.

Any golfer must understand that like any valuable thing in  life, some effort, patience and persistence to improve is necessary. A beginner has a lot of room for improvement especially in the area of striking the ball with precision. This brings about more consistency and consequently more confidence in his ball striking ability.

Answer 2

It jumps around too much and the heart disease analogy really doesn't work. Most golfers don't want to hear about heart disease. They are working their hardest to die from it.

I would try again and then post back up.

Answer 3

Looked the paragraphs over and you should eliminate any reference to heart or disease, or organs. The golfer wants none of that. Also the point of impact is not the " moment of truth" in the golf swing. The moment of truth occurs the minute one grips the golf club and takes his stance in relation to the position of the ball. If either of these is wrong, the golf swing and the expected result can be ruined. The swing must follow a swing plane , be repetitive for the golfer to succeed. The swing plane and its slight variation with each club determines the golfer's ability to adjust to each type of shot.