Question:

Can someone critique this for me? (Really short character sketch)?

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She has long jet-black hair that she pins up when around anyone but herself. When absentminded, she will slowly raise her right arm up to twirl the wispy curl on her temple. She is absentminded more than half of the normal waking day.

She parks her car on the 32* sloping driveway after a ten-hour day at work. When she started college five years and two months ago, she wanted to be an accountant but switched to Journalism when she realized accuracy was not her strong-point. Now, still a little fresh from college, she travels around the country describing tragic incidents and accidents in a neutral style.

She grips the steering wheel as if she sees a large truck hurtling toward her—on the driveway. It’s a habit started during her first successful article. Another habit is the letting down of the black hair to cover the weight of the world that she bears on her shoulders.

She alights from her red Camaro: a reporter, a weary, self-sacrificing soul. Her heavy feet bear her along the

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1 ANSWERS


  1. I think it is very descriptive and gives a perfect image of exactly what she looks like. Though maybe the descriptions of her actions are a litle TOO detailed. Hope I helped!

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