Question:

Can someone decide whether or not this essay flows?

by  |  earlier

0 LIKES UnLike

I wrote this essay for English class. Can someone help with whether the paragraphs flow together or not? I think they do, but if anyone has any suggestions for making the essay better, than please help. Thank you!

When I was in second grade, my teacher asked us to come up with a personal motto. I chose “Sharpen your pencils before they break,” as mine, my own version of the Boys Scouts motto, “Be Prepared”. It seemed to make perfect sense to me then. In the past 8 years, though, my life has changed. Things that used to seem black and white now seem like big areas of gray. Basic arithmetic has turned into trigonometry and being a good citizen now means more than sharing Barbies with a friend.

As my life changed, my personal statement changed as well. My motto has slowly evolved from “Be prepared,” to “Don’t worry about being prepared for anything. Worry about living a good life.” I honestly can’t say that I am prepared for everything that comes my way anymore. I also don’t care. With all of the problems on earth, will anyone actually care if I don’t win a contest or get a 4.0 GPA?

Worrying takes up valuable time that I could use to have fun or to push myself to be a better person. Glenn Turner is quoted as saying, “Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.” After reading that quote, I finally came to realize that worrying is unproductive and often counterproductive. Nothing good can come from worrying; it will only make me more upset. Fretting takes up time and energy. By not worrying, I can push myself to work harder and to be a improved person.

I can’t worry about the things I’m not prepared for and also live a good life.. I don’t want to have to worry about catching a cold instead of dancing outside when it rains. I want to live my life, and I certainly can’t do that if I worry about everything that comes my way.

 Tags:

   Report

3 ANSWERS


  1. Your essay flows. It flows because you're on one topic and it keeps the reader interested in what you have to say :)


  2. Hairydog, this is a pretty good essay for a 10th grader. It would help if you indented the start of paragraphs. Also, who is Glenn Turner? The motivator, the PhD, or the hockey player? You need to say as this is not a well-known person.

    Your views on worrying are very similar to mine. I don't worry about anything at all.

    Regards,

    Dan

  3. I think that flows well.  Good job.

Question Stats

Latest activity: earlier.
This question has 3 answers.

BECOME A GUIDE

Share your knowledge and help people by answering questions.