Can someone decipher my husband's comment?

Question

Separated May 31. Still talk a little, see each other once a week for visitation with our 16 mo. old. We were texting and he said one night "Do you think we will get back together?" I said "Nope".

He said "Nice.. then why are you still talking to me if you dont think we will get back together?"

I asked him about it a few days after and said what did that mean. He was stuttering and like "um, um um, just uh, wanted to see what you'd say.. I dont want you back, etc". But then his mom said he told her he don't want a divorce. And he wont discuss divorce with me.

Answer 1

You need to tell him, that this divorce will happen whether "he" wants it to or not and that your only being civil for the sake of your son. Tell him the day will come when you start to date others, so it's best that he see things realistically.

     Loose the chit chat and thoughts of being friends, it's not going to happen if he's against the divorce and no matter what he says, you better be prepared for the trouble he will be, even to your son, once he finds out your dating or have a boyfriend.

    If i were you, i would only keep touch about the child or child's visitation.  Leave him alone and give him a chance to get use to the finality of it all.

     If you don't he will keep those hopes, even subconsciously and once you start to date or find someone else, he "will" become a major problem. He will also claim he was led on, as he pointed out with you just being friendly.

Answer 2

The games couples play....

Sounds like you both are playing...You saying nope to gettn' back together

Him, saying nice like he doesn't want ya back

You two have a baby together and i don't mean to be hateful But either get into it or get a divorce. Dragging the baby through all the emotions you two are dishing out and the games isn't a good thing.

So my answer is

When ya said, nope he just agreed and said NICE

Answer 3

absence makes the heart fonder. this time you have been apart has made him remember why you two got married. I think he is starting to realize that that he is lost without you. Giving him a second chance is entirely up to you and the circumstances that lead to the seperation, so...yeah

Answer 4

Men don't like to be rejected,you told him "nope" when he was hoping for a "maybe or sure".in return he turned Mr. Tough guy.He wants you back but doesn't exactly knw how to.

Answer 5

He said nice in a sarcastic way,  and told you that you shouldn't be texting him if you dont want him basically.

He wants to reconcile with you, it's clear he was just trying to see what you would say before he becomes more vulnerable and put more effort and time into you.

His mom is right.

Also, I dont know where the girl above me got the "middle of the night" part from, I think that's her own thoughts, but I do have to say that if he asked you that, and you say you still love him, then why did you say "nope"? I just hope you really meant it. If you didn't then don't say that, it will only complicate things further.

Answer 6

he is trying to get u to say something that would give him some hope, without him having to come out and say what is on his mind,he doesn't want his ego hurt, so he won't just come out with whats in his heart.he secretly wants to go back but isn't willing to tell u, because he fears u will reject him and he will be more hurt.

Answer 7

You can always go see a marriage counselor to see if there is any way you can salvage this marriage. His comment is easy to understand, he's testing you to see if you want to try again.

Answer 8

YOU were texting him in the middle of the night.  That is why he asked you that, night time is a lonely time when you are first separating.  Even if he doesn't want a divorce, you must have a really good reason for filing, or you wouldn't have, right?  YOU are toying with his heart. Stop.  Also, why are you visiting him with the baby? He needs to bond with his child without you.  If he needs help with the baby, sounds like he is on good terms with his mother, she can help. I just divorced a few weeks ago, and yes there are things that still need to be discussed, but you need to keep it at a minimum and get to the point. Don't toy with someone who is in emotional pain.  

Answer 9

It's called being "CIVIL" to each other. I should know, I am divorced.

Answer 10

I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING W/ MY EX,

HE FELT HE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN LEFT, HE BEGGED,CRIED, CAME 2 C OUR KIDS, BUT I WAS DONE W/ HIM...........

I THANKED THE LORD,

WHEN HE FINALLY REMARRIED, BUT HE'S NOT HAPPY W/ HER BECAUSE HE'S STARTING 2 BOTHER ME AGAIN, I JUST BLOW HIM OFF.... HE GETS THE MESSAGE....

THERE STILL MAYBE A CHANCE 4 THE BOTH OF U, JUST TALK 2 HIM, FIND OUT WHAT HE REALLY WANTS, THEN GO FROM THERE!

GOOD-LUCK!

Answer 11

if you dont want him why text? it seems you may be giving mixed messages, he needs to seperate seeing the child and seeing you and you need to step back unless you want him  

Answer 12

So when are you two going to give it another go?, this time communicate a bit better than last time and let each other know when you are not happy with a certain issue. Its all about communication.

Answer 13

he still loves you. come on it's pretty obvious.. i feel really bad for him.

you married him knowing that you loved him.. theres still hope.  

Answer 14

So far, you are his world. It is common and uneasy for separated people to show that they took the first steps toward reconciliation. Make things easy as far as conversation and he will ask you for a diner date. Work it out and rekindle the fire.