Can someone define child abuse please!!?

Question

My daughter who was 3, once was hit by my ex on th ehand really hard cause she ran away from him and then fell on the ground , we were at the outdoor .. is this child abuse?

he once slapped her lightly on the cheeck coz she was yelling and pulling sthng from his hand while he told her not to do that..

i used to argue a lot with my ex on this... he used to tell me that it is not abuse , but i think he loses control and tries to justify it .. and i think if i didn't stand up fo much for my daughter th ehitting would have increased in violence and in occurance..

Note: I got divorced because he used to be violent even with me like that! and claim that it is not hitting ...

Answer 1

if a mark or a bruise is left its abuse.

he was hitting you too ?

he needs help

Answer 2

There doesn't have to be a mark for it to be abuse, that's ridiculous to say. How about emotional abuse? No visible marks there but still abuse.

Slapping a 3 yr old in face, mark or not, is abusive. If he is going to slap a 3 yr old in the face what would he do as she got older? It would likely get worse as her behavior gets worse. It's like a vicious cycle. The behavior gets worse as he uses this pshysical punishment and as the behavior gets worse because of the punishment, the punishment gets worse only making the behavior even worse.

So my answer is YES it's abusive behavior on the part of your ex. The child is damaged by his behavior and to me THAT is what makes it abusive. It's not like he spanked her on the but...he crossed the line.

Answer 3

This is a tricky one. I think that since he is not totally "cooled off" when he hits is not okay, however, children don't always listen to reason, and I was slapped as a child also with no bad memories of this.

Keep standing up, tell him you do not agree, and try and find support from others in both of your families so he is not just hearing it from you, aka a grandma or something. But it is not something that I would call "abuse" he is doing this out of love and care for the child and not neglecting her, yelling at her or excessively hitting her in delicate places.

A slap on the hand is nothing, im not too comfortable however with the slap on the cheek.

Answer 4

It sounds like a precursor to abuse since he becomes angry and hits out of anger. It would not be considered legal abuse, but kudos to you for getting out of that situation as it could only get worse. Consider this when it comes to visitation though, try to have it supervised if you can in a no-hit zone. Or have the court appoint him to anger management courses, if you can, before he can have partial custody. (Make sure to tell the judges that he hit you too, it is an important factor when it comes to decided custody arrangements.) Good luck.

Answer 5

Its considered abuse if a mark is left and if anything besides the inside of your hand is used.

Answer 6

personally all i know is that if a mark is left then it is classed as abuse, but my personal opinion is that if the hitting is regular and not always justifable on what you would class as bad behaviour then this little girl has mental abuse. but that is just my opinion.

sorry

Answer 7

If you had let it go she would be a victim of abuse.  by divorcing him and taking custody you have prevented child abuse.  you should get full custody of her if you already haven't.  

Abusers don't take the blame and are great at making excuses.  don't worry about getting a one up on him though unless it is in court.  You already one upped him by proving you would not to let him do that. Some people call it ‘spanking’ but using violence to control a person’s behavior is the definition of abusive.  Plus she was only three and obviously it is unfair for a grown man to hit a three year old child.   Abusers are abusers to everyone they are close to and if he did it to you and already started doing it to her as a baby, the abuse would continue and abuse only ever gets worse.

Answer 8

Child abuse is the physical, emotional, psychological or sexual maltreatment of children. While most child abuse happens in the child's home, a significant portion also occurs in hands of caregivers. There are five primary types of child abuse:- Physical Abuse, Parental Substance Abuse,  Emotional Abuse, Neglect Abuse and Abandonment Abuse.

Since the example specified related to physical child abuse so the same is being explained.

Physical child abuse is an adult’s physical act of aggression directed at a child that causes injury, even if the adult didn’t intend to injure the child. Such acts of aggression include striking a child with the hand, fist, or foot or with an object; burning the child with a hot object; shaking, pushing, or throwing a child; pinching or biting the child; pulling a child by the hair; cutting off a child’s air.

Many physically abusive parents and caregivers insist that their actions are simply forms of discipline, ways to make children learn to behave. But there’s a big difference between giving an unmanageable child a swat on the backside and twisting the child’s arm until it breaks. Physically abusive parents have issues of anger, excessive need for control, or immaturity that make them unable or unwilling to see their level of aggression as inappropriate.

Corporal punishment, the use of physical force with the intent of inflicting bodily pain, but not injury, for the purpose of correction or control, used to be a very common form of discipline: most of us know it as spanking or paddling. And many of us were spanked as children without damage to body or psyche.

The widespread use of physical punishment, however, doesn’t make it a good idea. Most child-care experts have come to agree that corporal punishment sends the message to children that physical force is an appropriate response to problems or opposition. The level of force used by an angry or frustrated parent can easily get out of hand and lead to injury. Even if it doesn’t, what a child learns from being hit as punishment is less about why conduct is right or wrong than about behaving well — or hiding bad behavior — out of fear of being hit.

Signs of physical child abuse include visible marks of maltreatment, such as cuts, bruises, welts, or well-defined burns, and reluctance to go home. If you ask a child about how he or she got hurt and the child talks vaguely or evasively about falling off a fence or spilling a hot dish, think hard before you accept the child’s story at face value.

In addition to defining acts or omissions that constitute child abuse or neglect, several Countries statutes provide specific definitions of persons who can be reported to child protective services as perpetrators of abuse or neglect. These are persons who have some relationship or regular responsibility for the child. This generally includes parents, guardians, foster parents, relatives, or other caregivers responsible for the child's welfare.

Corporal punishment in families is usually not reported, as family in some countries is intensely private institution. The process has started to enact such legislation which goes against legislation which goes against the International Treaties/Conventions in counties who are signatories to the CRC

Although many people are reluctant to get involved in other families’ lives, when it comes to child abuse, you don’t have the option of keeping mum. If you know of a child being abused or even suspect abuse, you have the responsibility to report it. By reporting, you can make a tremendous difference in the life of a child and the child’s family, especially if you help stop the abuse early. Early identification and treatment can help mitigate the long-term effects of abuse. If the abuse is stopped and the child receives competent treatment, the abused child can begin to regain a sense of self-confidence and trust. Parents may also benefit from support, parent training and anger management.

I hope that gives you a fair idea about child abuse and solves your question.

Answer 9

I have to question the "light" slap on the cheek -- no child should be slapped in the face.  The slap on the hand is not abuse.  A spanking (swat/two on the bottom) has nothing to do with abuse, either. Abuse leaves physical and emotional trauma, instills fear, and promotes violence.

You are mentioning that he was violent with you -- if he's violent, then he certainly would be abusive.  Stay away from him, cut off all ties with him.  The man obviously has anger issues and cannot control them, you need to keep yourself and your daughter safe.

Answer 10

I wasn't too worried about it until you said he hit when he lost control as well as had been violent with you...  When a parent takes out anger on a child that IS abuse and the age old question of "is spanking ok" can be defined in that question alone.. Are you angry when you spank?  I don't think I have ever heard of a mature, calm and rational person spanking their child.  When I have been spanked or seen spankings it was out of anger...

Answer 11

Legally, it can be considered child abuse.  However, it won't stand up in any court because it will merely be seen as a method of discipline.  Serious child abuse would be punches or slaps that leave marks and bruises, and inhibit the child's ego.  

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with a little physical discipline as long as it is not taken too far.  :0