Can someone give me some insight into what is going on with my friends teenage daughter?

Question

My friends daughter seems to be acting out in a very unusual way (out of character). She is 16 years old, doesn't live at home in fact she lives with my friends mother. From what ive been told, her daughter is very intelligent and has her head on her shoulders. Waking up very early in the morning to go to work, paying her own bills, putting money towards groceries even though she doesn't live there with her mother and her sibling. She has a stable relationship with a 20 year old boyfriend. Good grades at school and not really the kind of girl you would see going down that bad path. Recently though she started making allegations against her grandmother that she abuses her, feeds her dog food and more. Very randomly out of the blue. She cancelled her cellphone contract and ran of to the one place where there is no phone contact (another family member) She just did a 360 all of a sudden and started hurting people around her. There is a family history of mental health, Bi polar on the female sides however no previous signs showed...or were at least noticed. She has never lived at home, grew up for 16 years with he grandmother, has gotten everything she has ever wanted. In the past she did self harm however apparently after one psych appointment she stopped. Suspicions that the boyfriend may be influencing her but for what reason is unknown, her mother is scared she may need to be seen from a shrink, and some people think that she is just rebelling. She has a younger brother whom she promised to stop by and see and she didn't there for upsetting her brother who in fact also has special needs and took it pretty hard. So on top of everything shes bailing out on promises, her mother describes her acting as if she is cold, no feeling and hopes she snaps out of it, Any insight into what may be going on for this girl. Apparently there is no showing problems however it has been made clear she doesn't talk about her feelings. Experiences please let me know and how we could go about supporting her through this process.

Answer 1

I can tell you exactly whats going on. She feels like and acts like an adult and all retrospect she is a mini adult. She is trying to cut all ties to the ones she calls family for this 20 year old man (may not be him influencing her) She is trying to say back off i can do this on my own i don't need any one. Burning the bridges to show that she is an adult and ready for the world and make her own decisions.Right now it doesn't matter who she hurts or how bad she hurts them its just trying to tell every one to back off I'm a adult and i don't need any one. Her family are going ot take this with a smile and a kind heart and don't hold it against her, if she doesn't want contact then don't contact her give her time to sort her self out and for the world to kick her around a bit. Eventually she will see and say to her self well i screwed up who am i proving this to and why, even start feeling bad for hurting her family like that.

Answer 2

she might be bi polar or just have some other type of sickness. but like someone eles had said sounds like she's had a hard life an for what reason has a 16 yr old never stayed at home with her own mom while the other kids have. theres some real family issues going on there an that could be part of the reason she acts the way she does.  

Answer 3

She needs to move back in. Parents need to step in and spend quality time with her, take her to a doctor and possibly a therapist but she needs quality time and focus from the family.

It doesn't sound like she has an easy life and why is a 16year old dating a 20year old?

Many things could have happened, including sexual harassment, physical violence, depression, an illness or worse.

Answer 4

This child needs a complete medical work-up. Something is going on. Tell your friend to make an appointment with a good doctor, and go with her and explain what's going on.

Answer 5

with such a fast change it may be drug related.  With her living with her grandmother all her life my question is why?  and was the mother active in her daughters life?

If this girl feels like no one cares, then she is going to reach out to anyone. If she feels like no one cares, then she is not going to care, and will see and say to herself.....I'll show them, buy doing stupid stuff.

It is time for something to happen here, and some one who is able to talk to her needs to sit down with her and help her......she needs to know that some one out there loves her, and that she is special to someone besides a 20 yr. boyfriend.