Can someone help me with fears of breastfeeding!?

Question

I tried to breastfeed my first and since she was early and so tiny it was very difficult so I ended up pumping for 3 weeks then stopping. With my 2nd I didnt try at all and just gave formula. Now that I am pregnant again I am wanting to try breastfeeding cause its so good for the baby, but I feel fear and overwhelmed by it. Like last night I had a dream that I had the baby and milk was pouring out of my b*****s everywhere and my CAT came up to me and was breastfeeding. It was too weird. I also feel uncomfortable with my child sucking my nipple because it seems like a sexual spot, and its hard for me to get past that because I was molested as a child. With all that being said I thought I should just pump, but it seemed so demanding with my first, even when she was sleeping for longer I couldnt because I was leaking and engorged and would have to wake up to pump. Does it get better after a while or would I always have to do that? Sorry if my question is weird - I just need advice.

Answer 1

When you see your precious child getting proper nutrition and growing from breastfeeding, you'll no longer feel anything sexual about breastfeeding. It's a wonderful feeling being able to look at a child and know that YOU are the source of his/her growth. It's wonderful to cuddle and hold this beautiful child that looks up to you for so much and truly needs you.

Answer 2

the best thing you can do is to get in touch with your local la leche leage. it is comprised of local women who are experienced breastfeeders. they usually have two monthly meetings and will be able to give you encouragement and advice and support. i am planning on going to a couple of meetings before my baby is born and to a couple afterward for any follow up support.

Answer 3

I've nursed 3 of my 4 kids, and I wish I would have nursed them all for at least a year.  Of course when you start it hurts, you're sore, you're not sure if the baby is getting anything, they may not be latching on correctly...lots of concerns.  Nursing is the most natural thing for a mother to do.  Don't think about the sexual thing...I don't know what to tell you aobut the cat dream...that's kind of funny, but try to concentrait on how much this is going to benefit you and your child.  You were built to breast feed!

When you nurse, you are providing so many more benefits to your child than you can imaging.  You give them your immune system, so they are sick less often.  Formual is man made, therefore it is not the best thing for your baby.  Breast milk has nutrients that cannot be duplicated with formula.  You bond with your baby...once the soreness goes away...and you become closer.  This is a time only you and your child can share.  You benefit by having no or less frequent periods.  Nursing also helps your uterus shrink back into place, so you'll lose the belly quicker.  Your breast stay larger...benefit for your husband!  And breat milk is sweet, so when that special time comes for you and your husband, he may actually enjoy the treat!  Mine did!  

You don't have to warm a bottle, no sterilizing.  It's convenient...you can feed anytime, anywhere.  I took my kids to church with me and nursed in the pew!  No one even knew.  So, it does get better and easier.  When you start out and your breast are engorged, and it seems like your baby can't latch on...pump for a minute to get the milk to flow and then let the baby nurse.  You may only have to do this a  couple of times until you both get used to this experience.  If the baby sleeps thru a feeding, pump the milk, put it in the throw-away-bottle-bags and tie it up with a bread tie.  Get a permanant marker, put the date on the bag and put it in the freezer.  Then when you need to go out and Dad is home with the baby, you have breast milk for him to feed to the baby.  He just needs to defrost it in warm water and test it to make sure it's not too hot or cold. It will stay good for a couple of months, I think.  You may want to check on the internet for that info but, I use to do this and it was wonderful!  I could take a bag to the church nursery, and not have to worry about going back to feed the baby or taking her with me.  There is also lots of advise on the internet, and if you look up the benefits of breast feeding, I think you'll be surprised.  Hope this helps.  Congratulations!

Answer 4

I felt the same way. I too was molested and had a huge problem with it but because it is so good for the baby I did it anyway. She was airlifted at 5.5 weeks and the stress from the whole ordeal dried up my milk and it would not come back in. We just went to formula.

With my seconds I went straight to formula as well. First of all my breast milk did not protect my first daughter like they claim it does, she contacted a viral infection that shut down her bowels. So I figured a sane mommy that does not breastfeed is better than a breastfeeding mom who is constantly reminded of the abuse. My second daughter is and always has been much healthier than my breastfed daughter.

Do what is right for you, it is OK to give your baby formula, it is your body and your choice. And if pumping is too much stress on you then just give the new baby formula, she will be fine. Both my daughters are very smart at the top of their class so one or the other does not make them smarter etc. I once had a dr tell me that breast milk makes your child smarter, I think he was way out of line. He had no idea my reason for not wanting to and I should not have to tell my story to anyone to justify my choice. Do what works for you and do not feel guilty about it.

Answer 5

I breastfed my daughter (ten years ago) for a year.  It was difficult to get the hang of at first, but we soon adjusted, and everything worked out very well.  I contacted my local LaLeche League for support.  Yours will be happy to help you as well.  

By the way, I was also molested as a child, but it did not affect me with regards to breastfeeding.  Our b*****s were designed by God for feeding our babies, in spite of what society tells us.  

I did feel uncomfortably engorged for a while upon waking up (usually only once per night), but after a while (when she went longer between feedings) it lessened considerably.  Remember, the less you feed, the less milk your body makes.  After your baby grows a bit, and you aren't nursing every few hours, you will probably be able to sleep all through the night.  

Just remember, breastfeeding is the most NATURAL thing in the world, it's the most nutritious food you can give your baby, and it creates a wonderful mother-baby bond.  You will never regret nursing your baby!

Answer 6

contact a lactation consultant La Leche League is good too

Answer 7

Your dream is only playing off your fears, so don't worry about it to much. I would like to say that you get over the sexual thing when you have your child but that is not the same for you. Breast milk is best for your child but don't use a pump to start with, use your hands to self pump this will help with engorgement. It doesn't all way get easier but try to stay with it has long has you can. Good look

Answer 8

My mom told it was different feeding all three of me and my sisters.  You may not get so engorged this time.  I am sorry to hear about you past -  i can understand how it might effect your decision - so if you are not comfortable with it then dont, but you are right - it is very beneficial for the baby.  Why dont you give it a try and if it doesnt work for you or you just feel super weird then switch to formula!  There would be no shame in that!  Congrats and best of Luck!!!!