Can someone help me with my very frustrating horseback riding situation?

Question

I'm 15 years old, I own a horse and I've been riding english for 6 years. My riding instructor won't let me go past a trot during lessons. She won't advance me at all...I have had about 3 lessons in the past 2 months that involved carrying a hoola hoop around and putting it on a fence..and I had to pay money to do it..ON MY OWN HORSE..seriously.. It's not that I can't canter, because I have done it many times, I've even galloped when I go trail riding with other people. She thinks that it's unsafe to do basically anything faster than a trot. I told my mom that I want to switch riding places but she says that my instructor is the nicest, so she's making me stick with her. I don't even want to ride anymore because of this. Any time that there is a situation involving riding, my mom forces me to do it, which makes me hate riding even more. I always had dreams of being a good jumper but now I don't even care about anything. I want to be able to enjoy riding again..what should I do??

Answer 1

One, look up other places to ride and stable your horse.  Maybe if you show a lot of initiative with changing your situation, your mom will take you seriously and let you find a new instructor.  Contact the other places and tell them your situation and have an instructor call and talk to your mom about switching...  so your mom will see that other people are nice too.  Keep telling your mom what you want to do and explain why.  She might not understand why it's important to you to switch.  Tell your mom everything that you told us and tell her that it's completely WASTING her money for you to spend 6 years at the walk and trot...  You might mention that this is my 3rd year of riding and I won a jumping class where I cantered around the ring and over jumps.  Tell her it's not normal for people to still be trotting after 6 years and tell her that you'll never get any better if you don't get the opportunity to do anything else.  She might just think it doesn't matter if since it's your horse and you get to canter/gallop in your free time.  Tell her that you seriously want to get better and you're not just fooling around by taking lessons.  Don't have this conversation in the car or something...  actually sit your mom down specially and talk to her.  If she knows you're serious, she'd have a hard time refusing to let you switch.

If you have other instructors at your barn you could...  talk to one of them about switching and if your mom is uncooperative, you could just switch and not tell your mom that someone else is going to be teaching you...  or tell her that the instructor couldn't do it today so this other person is teaching and she might see that you do better with another instructor.  And have that instructor talk to your mom about how you did in that lesson.

And you should tell your instructor your thoughts too...  tell her that you're either quitting or changing instructors if she doesn't get her act together.  Be serious and forceful about it.  Tell her you hate the way she teaches your lessons and tell her you want to train for shows... and that you're pretty sure that there's not going to be any classes at the show that test your hula hoop placing ability.  Set a timeline for her and yourself for when you need to be progressing...  like say you should be jumping 1 foot (like cross rails) in 30 days and make plans that you will get to canter jumps in within 10 lessons after that and that you get to move up to 18 inches within another 15 lessons and you will do 2 foot within another 15 lessons.  There's no reason someone who has ridden for 2 years should not be able to handle that.  If your instructor realizes that she can either get her act together or lose your business and the money she makes, then she might change your lessons a bit.  And you can throw in the threat that you'll get her other lesson kids to go to a new trainer with you!

I hope those ideas help you a little.  I think you should talk to your mom as soon as you can and mention to your instructor that you're talking to your mom about a change.  Then try the other ideas...  just get more forceful and more definate about it...  get more serious about it as much as you can.  If you don't stand up for yourself, you're not going to get much changed.  Good luck!

Answer 2

How about this: research some different stables and visit them. Ask questions, or even just get on their websites. Find out (if you can) from students who've gone to these different stables if they like their instructor. Even if the teacher is mean, if he/she is really good and teaches well, it might be worth the change. Also, it's YOUR horse that YOU want to be able to go faster on. Besides, I think most places make you sign a waiver before you ride stating that if you get hurt, it's okay, you won't sue. If your instructor still won't allow you to canter in a lesson, then it's a controlling issue: she knows you won't do anything about it. Good luck, horseback riding should not be an unenjoyable experience!