Can someone help me with toilet training my two and a half year old son?

Question

Im trying to toilet train my son since he was 19 months and still have no idea.I dont know what else to try.My daughter more or less trained herself.She asked to wear big girl's undies when she was 19 mnths ol.My husband keeps telling me it's my fault,I baby him too much and I leave him in childcare when I should be at home.He says that his mother had all of her children out of nappies around 12 months.pls help me with this.Im getting distressed.

Answer 1

my mum was a childminder and she had two tricks, both of them rewarding the kids for being "a big boy" or "a big girl".

One: each time they went potty like a big boy or girl instead of dirtying their nappies/undies, the pot make a noise (musical potties) and we'd all give them a round of applause.

Two: they'd get a small treat and were told how big they were. Kids love hearing how they're "a big boy / girl" instead of being called a baby.

Once he takes on, you can take him shopping for "big boy undies" with his favourite cartoon or book characters - Bob the Builder, Spiderman - as an extra incentive to not dirty his undies, he wouldn't want to dirty Spiderman and have to walk around in plain undies.

Explain to the people who take care of him during the day that you're trying to potty-train him - consistency is key, if he's allowed to wear nappies and go potty in his pants in one place, he won't learn to go potty like a big boy in the other.

No one has a child out of nappies by 12 - most of them can barely walk properly by then, never mind knowing when to get up and go to the toilet when they're playing.

Also, if your husband thinks he can do a better job, have him try for a week - IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Some kids are just slower to catch on with this than other, and trust me, I've seen a LOT of kids going through potty-training in the 16 years mum was a childminder!

Answer 2

Put a ping pong ball in the toilet to "Aim" at when he goes. I just kept his nappies off all day and he got the idea (I also told him where to go and took him to the toilet when he wee'd on the floor) but I guess if you have a lot of carpet you can't go that way lol

Answer 3

Don't get stressed about it, boys are usualy later than girls he will do it when he is ready, you don't see many 14 year olds in nappys.

Answer 4

it is nice to see your husband is supportive and constructive in his criticisms and sees this as a joint parental issue!!!!

boys are generally slower than girls!

don't put a nappy on him from when he wakes

ask him, at regular intervals, do you need a wee/poo etc?

encouraging, smiling, not too OTT

sit him gently down, smile, engage with him

tell him, isn't he a clever big boy?

he goes to the toilet like his daddy now!

when you go to the toilet, tell him where you are going, what you are doing, let him follow you if need be

keep it casual,

if he does something in the toilet, praise him, clap your hands, cheer, let him flush and then help him wash his hands, still telling him how clever he is

if he has an accident, don't be too harsh

just say 'Oh!  that goes in the toilet doesn't it'??  clean it up if it's liquid, pick it up with tissue and take him with you to flush it away if it's solid

he will soon catch on, little boys want to please you, want you to think they are clever, as long as you don't get too fixated, I'm sure it will fall into place eventually, whoever heared of a teenager in nappies!

Answer 5

gotta agree with your man... but i bet his momma didnt WORK! anywho kinda hard  when hes in some one elses care but when your @ home together take the darn diapers away!!! let em soil his  undies pants ,whatever. have him help clean any accidents ittl get tiresome for him as well :) not to mention uncomfortable! of course bedtime and public outings are an exception. buy a protective matress cover for nite time so you can slowly rid em of the pullups to. pretty rude on your husbands part, thought he would have learned   some of his mothers training techniques and put em to use lol

Answer 6

Your child will sense your distress and things will only get worse!  Boys usually toilet train later than girls, plus all children are different.  Here's what my wife did with our son:

She put a child's toilet in the bathroom across from the regular toilet for him to do bowel movements.  Some children feel more comfortable with the smaller size especially when sitting on it.

She put a low stool for him to stand on to pee in the regular toilet.

She cut pieces of tissue into boat shapes and had him "sink the boat" when peeing.

When he messed in his diaper, she would let him watch her dump it in the toilet, and she would tell him "this is where it goes" so try to put it there instead of in your diaper.  If you can do that, you won't have to wear diapers any more.  

She talked to him in such a sweet manner that, I believe, he tried really hard to use the toilet just to please her.  

She also started giving him rewards when he kept a clean, dry diaper all day.  He would beam with delight at a new book or small toy.

Of course, my wife stayed home all day, so her job of working with our son to teach him and his learning it was easier.  I just loved the woman so for doing such a great job and bringing up such a great boy.  

Enjoy your little one!

Answer 7

First of all, take a deep breath, relax, and stop fretting.  Little boys often take MUCH longer to potty train than little girls, for many reasons.

1. They take longer to mature both psychologicaly and physically;

2. They're often just not as interested;

3. In YOUR case, he has no role model (more about that later);

4. He may be picking up on the tension between you and your husband over the issue.

I would suggest you take this approach.  First of all, drop the whole issue of potty training for at least a week or two (maybe longer).  Let all the tension he's sensing about the issue dissolve. And while you're all decompressing, have a nice, calm, private, and adult conversation with your husband.  Remind him that:

--- Every child is different, even in the same family.

--- The possibility of he and his siblings being "out of nappies" by 12 months is not credible since it is the rare child who is physically mature enough to control their bladder at that age.

--- Being in childcare not only has little or nothing to do with it, but seeing other little boys peeing would actually accelerate his interest in learning.

--- Ask him this, "How is our son supposed to learn to pee (standing up) from a female who sits down?" That means he is just as responsible for the potty training as you are.  Your son should be seeing Daddy pee!  In fact, every time he heads to the loo, he should ask your son to come along then ask him to "try" too!  If he's not taking your son into the bathroom WHENEVER he is home, he's not fulfilling HIS responsibility.

You need to sit his sorry *** down and calmly explain the facts of life to him: it took 2 to bring this child into the world and it will take 2 to raise and teach him.  His (in my opinion) pathetic attempt to blame you for "babying him" or "leaving him in childcare" is mean and cowardly - but successful because you're so upset.

Most importantly, potty training can never be a source of shame, punishment, scolding, or upset for a child.  The more you concentrate on making it "fun" and finding a small reward for each of his attempts (successful or not), the faster he will learn and "be out of nappies".  And when he does learn - and has the occassional accident (which he will!) he should be soothed because he WILL be upset!

When I was potty training my children, I used the "M & M" method.  Each attempt to use the toilet earned them 3 M & M candies.  If they were successful, they received 5 M & M's.  Pretty soon, they were grabbing the M & M's bag on their way to the loo!

Finally, I would not be worried about the issue unless he's not completely potty trained by 5 years old.  If (G*d forbid) it's still an issue then, he needs to be evaluated by the doctor.

Good luck dear, and don't let the bugger get you down!

Answer 8

First off, Your husband is an idiot. No offense.  It's not your fault or anyone's fault. Boys are just later than girls with that. And who cares what his mother did, your the mom and you're not her and he doesn't need to make comparisons between the two of you. He's a parents too, so if he's trying to place blame on you, he also has to place blame on himself. which i seriously doubt from the sound of things that he does. Anyways.......Potty training a boy.....

My youngest son is two and a half and has been using the potty off and on for a few months now. But with that in mind he also has an older brother who was potty trained at around 3 yrs old. The youngest follows his brother, my husband, and I to the bathroom all the time. He has his own little potty b/c he is scared to death to get on a big one. He seems to have a phobia, if you will, of pull-ups and "big boy" undies...lol. Soooooo at this stage right now we seriously let him run around the house bare bottomed (that's right a naked butt baby) and he uses it everytime sitting down. but if he has on undies, pull-up or diaper he WILL wet it in a heart beat and then tell you about it later. The way I see it is when children show interest in it that's when to start. Just because a child is trained by 1 yrs or 4 yrs old doesn't mean yours will follow that time line. every child is different. My oldest potty trained himself. it's like one day something clicked and he's been using it ever since no accidents, and never used a "training potty". Although he still has to wear pull-ups at night (he's almost 5 now). My youngest is the challenge b/c he wants to get potty trained but he doesn't want to wear anything on his butt other than diapers sooo ya know. you go with the flow, try different things. take off his diaper and ask him if he has to use the potty and if he says no let that be it and try again later at the next diaper change. All you can do is keep asking and eventually he'll say yeah.  Or do like me and let yours run around withotu a diaper (or Gerber makes great cloth training pants you can buy at walmart and the seperate vinyl covers for them or undies, I guarantee he'll hate wetting himself). And to start off with, I know this is gonig to sound bad, we started off putting the potty in front of the tv and sat him there with only a t-shirt on and he got caught up in the cartoons that he sat there and started using the potty right then and has ever since. But no, your son is definitely not behind.

First off buy a potty, we bought a decent priced one with a padded seat b/c well it's just more comfy and can later be transferred on to the big potty. Set it somewhere that he tends to be most of the time for him to check it out, get used to it, investigate it and figure it out. The let him follow you and your husband (that's right he HAS to get involved) to the bathroom every time so he can see what is going on and what you're doing. he'll learn from example. our little boys all started off peeing sitting down b/c they have no aim whatsoever. and that is truly the best way especially if you have carpet in your bathrooms. big praise after the first time and everytime after that. but just keep asking him and setting him on it with clothes and then without and gradually he'll get there. and probably by himself for the most part. You just show him what to do, buy what he needs, and he'll take it from there.