Can someone help me?i need help.

Question

and i am not sure where to start,my dad was a violent man but he never went for me,i never knew why,he was violent with my mother,sister and brother,now i think he saw himself in me,the middle child.

My dad is 'away' now,my mum has remarried and my siblings are with their partners and children,i am 20 years old and g*y,they don't know that i am living with a man,who they think is a friend,just a flatmate.

I am not sure if that is the worst of it,as me and the guy have been with each other for 3 years now and i swear on mine and my familys life that i love him but i am beating him,as my dad did with my mum and siblings.I am so ashamed of myself and i know they would be too,a friend had to take him to hospital 6 hours ago because i almost killed him,i have a problem and i don't know where this anger is coming from,i accused him of flirting with 2 guys even though they are just friends of his.

I want to see him but i know i will make things worse if i do,i don;t know what i can do to stop myself,my mum had a lucky escape from my dad,but my boyfriend always forgives me and i know he will be killed if he stays with me and i don't know how much more i can tell him to leave me before its too late.

Answer 1

Well, you need to keep away from him if you're gonna keep beating him up. Stay away from him and leave the poor guy alone until you've sorted yourself out. GO FOR SOME COUNSELLING. Honest, it'll help. Anything to get that instinct out of your system so that you can be with this guy without beating the c**p out of him for no reason. Good luck...

Answer 2

u worried ur going to kill him?!?!?!?!

as much as i sympathise with ur childhood experience - u need help now. and i mean that in the nicest way possible

Answer 3

what i don't understand is you didn't get the brunt of the abuse so why are you now dishing it out..knowing how you felt when your father was beating on your family...I'm telling you now that if you think your capable of killing someone you love then you don't really love him, cause if so you wouldn't be putting him through this kinda hurt... that's what your doing and eventually he's going to wake up and realize your never gonna change and your gonna be alone, and if you meet someone else and do the same sh** to that man, either your gonna meet your match and end up being the one who gets killed in self defense or your gonna be in prison for the rest of your life for killing someone you supposedly love......now i'm sure you don't want either of those to happen...so do yourself a favor and "GO GET HELP" you need to talk to someone quickly....about whats going on inside of you...and your boyfriend is a classic example of a person in an abusive relationship...they think it will stop, and your sorry, and they know somethings wrong...but i know from experience that this is only gonna get worse....help yourself...and your boyfriend and don't take him back, and go get help also he needs help to deal with what you've done to him ...

good luck and please don't treat someone who loves you so much and put up with your c**p for 3yrs like he's your father, cause that's who i think you really want to beat.....

Answer 4

You know you have a problem and that's the hardest part - admitting it.  Talk to someone, your GP, Samaritans, NCH Family Centres may all be able to help.  There are programmes and counselling available - do it now and you may not lose the man you love.

Answer 5

Ask your doctor to refer you to an anger management course, before you do serious harm and end up inside

Answer 6

You behave like this because children tend to repeat their parents behaviour. It's what you have seen as a child and also could be your temperament inherited from your father.

If you would been abused by him , you would have known how it feels, but because he spared you it's probably harder for you to know how a victim feels and to control yourself.

You really need to learn to control your anger. I know how hart it is . You have to do this,If you can't do this on your own you have to go to counselling.

Don't become an abuser like your father.

It's going to ruin your life.

Answer 7

Mate im sorry, but you need desperate help ASAP...councelling/therapy.

You cant go on doing S**t like that.

I wish you the best of luck.

x