Can someone help with a few words to move on please?!?!?!?! ?

Question

I am 22 have been in a 4 year relationship with this so called "woman of my dreams" shes 25, we have a three year old son together and lived together and shared our dreams and hopes together. Back in april, she acted ambivelent and nasty and eventually led a breakup in the end of april. She told she wanted freedom and explore New York City. I was devastated, upset, confused and everything else. She moved out pretty quickly and was just cruel and heartless. After friends have told me that by the speed of her move, you might wanna consider a third party. two weeks later, i went through her t-mobile plan, and i found out she was talking to a japanese guy since March, this guy she has met since Feb. I was upset, i was shocked and could'nt believe it. There were period of time when i was comparing myself to him and why she choose him and i guess she thinks he's more ïnteresting" That's unfair, i am younger and i wanted a stable life for all of us, i could've travel the world and played guitar and dance if i wanted to, but we had a kid. I went through so much pain and it is so unbearable. She showed up with him a couple of weeks ago to pick up my son. How can someone do this and hurt people like this? I've been in my house taking care of my son almost the entire summer. Cried and thought A LOT about what happened. It's as if our relationship never existed for her. My son and me don't deserve this, this is not the way my family should've went. I don't think i'll ever forget this. Now i am just trying to live everyday knowing this, how things have changed. It'll never be the same again :(. Can someone just help with a few words on moving on and advices on how to live life and hope again?

Answer 1

I'm 48 now, and my husband and I got divorced after 25 yrs of marriage. Although the marriage wasn't the best, I had trouble getting on with my life. I finally realized all the dreams and things I thought life was supposed to be were okay to change. Life is what it is today. I take life one day at a time. I never thought I would smile again, but I am happy today (6 yrs past divorce). I cried a lot during the first yr, and sometimes after that. But now, I realize my life is an open journey, and I am able to go one day at a time and move forward. I shut men out of my life emotionally for years, and now I realize if I can live through that divorce, and it didn't kill me outright, then maybe I am stronger than I think I am.  I can only speak for myself, but I know that even though I went through a lot of pain, now I am past it, one baby step at a time, and I am willing to start opening myself up to being in a relationship. Each person must adjust in their own time. It was important for me to create new memories for me and my 2 daughters. It was slow, but it works. We look back now, without bitterness, and without pain like before. We have happy things to look back on with the new memories. Slowly I moved forward and even when I thought I wasn't moving forward, I kept doing the "next right thing" even when I didn't feel like it. My feelings later followed my actions. It is different after a breakup, and with perseverence, it gets better. Life is good today. I have a full different life than the one I thought I was supposed to have. I realized, for me, Life is a journey, and it has pain, but it also has love in it. I learned that sometimes Life doesn't turn out like I thought it would or should: Sometimes the journey changes direction, and that is how it's supposed to be today. Create new memories, live one day at a time, know you are worth being loved and being happy. It's okay to accept that Life's journey has taken a different road than I thought it would. And this road is happy today, for me. Written with respect and love: sincerely,Lynn

Answer 2

You have just suffered the greatest pain of your life and you have every right to feel hurt and low. Don't forget, it is because you are who you are, and you clearly loved her a great deal, that you feel such pain now.

Sadly, people change. None of us stay the same forever. And sometimes people move away from us. It is doubtful you did anything, she just wanted something else.

As for you saying you were the serious one and took your responsibilities seriously, suggests she left you saying that you were no fun. However, you were the right one here. A child deserves all the attention and love his parents can give him...afterall, he did not ask to be born.  

You also suggest she has left the little lad with you and is tripping the light fantastic....Well this shows she is clearly immature and looking for excitement, basically the grass was greener and she stepped over onto it She showed none of the responsibility and maturity you have.

Sadly, this has happened and things will never be the same again you are correct. However, things may actually be for the better in the end. You may not believe that right now, but everything happens for a reason. And so if she left you, it may well be so you could meet  someone who deserves such a a kind, caring guy as yourself.

In the meantime, you need to get some counseling so as you can value yourself again. Get out and about, even if that is to parents and baby groups, meet other parents and people your own age.

I am not suggesting you fall headlong into another relationship, heavens no, I am suggesting you learn who you are now and why you are as valuable as the next person.

I wish you all the very best my friend, things do get better I promise you....        

Answer 3

I'm very, very, very sorry for your son.

This is why people say kids 20 and under aren't prepared for s*x, relationships and certainly not marriage!!!!!!!!

People at this age are constantly changing their goals, finishing their education or starting careers, learning, gaining experiences and you guys were really only playing house.

Neither of you were ready for marriage, a son and to be a family.

Answer 4

You definetly have to MOVE ON. This so called "women of your dreams" doesn't deserve YOU ! You seem like a great father that wants the best for his child and that's great and your child's mother apparently has other "major" concerns that apparently don't include your feelings or your child's. Remember, things always happen for a reason, maybe not in the best way but you learn and that's what life is all about tripping, falling, and learning. If she is not in that way linked in your life is probably because there is another women out there better suited for you that truly deserves you,loves you, needs and care about you the same way you do about her.

***REMEMBER***: "Damaged people are dangerous because they know how to survive"

BEST OF LUCK!!

Answer 5

She's just a meanie. =(

Forget her, and take your son with you.