Can someone help with relationship advice between me and my childs father?

Question

My childs father left me when I was 2 months pregnant. We had only been dating for 4 months at that point and it wasnt the best relationship...I was his rebound. Anyways, now that our daughter is actually born, he comes over every night after work to see her and help take care of her. We get along really well as friends and we flirt too. Our relationship is very different now from when we dated before...we are sorta becoming best friends. Its been months since he said he didn't want a relationship but I am really scared to ask him how he feels now b/c I was already rejected once. Any ideas of icebreakers on how to deal with this? I was thinking of saying something like "Are you really comfortable with our daughter having a step-father as a role model instead of you? You are going to regret someday not even trying to have her parents together for her."

What do you think?

Answer 1

Just say" I bet your daughter would love it if you were here every day!"

Answer 2

Whoa there just a second!!!  

Sounds to me like things are going in EXACTLY the right direction for the three of you.

I'd say you're on track towards the kind of relationship most of us only dream of ever finding.

Go with the flow, don't force it.

Let nature take its course kinda thing, ya know??

And you don't have to ask him how he feels - his actions speak for themselves.

You are being challenged by your  insecurities, doubts, and fears.

Be wise - don't give in and look for answers from him or you'll risk setting things back or worse.

And stop thinking and worrying about stuff so dang much, it does no good, and you'll just make yourself nuts.

You're a good girl - that's why you have a good man in your life.

The sooner you stop thinking about this stuff the sooner the day will come when you'll find an engagement ring on your finger and a man on his knees with a goofy look on his face.

Answer 3

Ask yourself are you in love with him? Can you see each other together married for 30 years? You must put the cards on the table and tell him how you feel even if it means being rejected. Remember 4 months was not that long for a relationship when you first both went out, maybe you both matured since the baby was  born and he may realize now the way he treated you was wrong, that is a great start if you two are best friends. Tell him friendship is about honesty and that you care about him but are afraid he may reject you but either way you want to remain friends for your baby. I think he sees thing more your way now.

Answer 4

No, no,no,no,no! If you bring up a possible stepdad it will only lead to an argument. He is being a great dad by coming by every night, dont ruin that. let things develop naturally between the two of you with no pressure. be patient, it will pay off.

Answer 5

Don't mess with the status quo. Accept that you are good friends and be grateful that he has stepped up to be a good father. Leave the rest alone lest you ruin what has become a good friendship.

Answer 6

Leave the "step-father" c**p out of this...

The two of you started rocky but are creating the foundation for a great long term relationship/marriage.  Just be patient.

Answer 7

Hmm thats a toughie.

But I would hold out a little longer, y'know, to see if your feelings, flirting and the chemistry increases before you say anything, but what you suggested seems very straightforward and good!

I've read a lot of cases about couples that don't realise they're soulmates until they're brought together byt a child because they share something they both love so much.

So good luck, and I hope this helps.

Congratulations on your new born!!!

Answer 8

dont beat around the bush be direct and honest

Answer 9

That's the problem with people these days. They wanna stay in a relationship just for the child. Yes, I agree the child would want both parents together, but I'd rather see both parents in the child's life but not together if it's not gonna be a relationship that's gonna work. If you wanna give this guy a shot again, do it for you AND your child. Don't beat around the bush. Be up front with him, but don't add the stepdad thing. That could potentially mess up the way he acts around you and his daughter.