Can someone please grade my SAT essay?

Question

topic:Are people more likely to be happy if they focus on goals other than their own happiness?

Can people find happiness or does happiness find you? It is widely datable as to whether striving for a personal goal accompanies happiness or if happiness is a natural feeling. While some people think that happiness can be achieved through accomplishing set goals, others believe people can discover happiness from within. It is clearly evident that happiness is a feeling from oneself rather than a mere goal from my readings of the novel The Dead Poets Society, my observation of the movie The Pursuit of Happiness, and my research of Gandhi’s actions.

Answer 1

great one.a 4 at least.

Answer 2

I think it's pretty good. But I think you used the word 'happiness' too much as well as the name 'Neil'. The ideas are really good but I think you need better word choice. But I think it's good all in all.