Can someone please grade my essay?

Question

topic: Are people more likely to be happy if they focus on goals other than their own happiness?

Can people find happiness or does happiness find you? It is widely datable as to whether striving for a personal goal accompanies happiness or if happiness is a natural feeling. While some people think that happiness can be achieved through accomplishing set goals, others believe people can discover happiness from within. It is clearly evident that happiness is a feeling from oneself rather than a mere goal from my readings of the novel The Dead Poets Society, my observation of the movie The Pursuit of Happiness, and my research of Gandhi’s actions.

Answer 1

Just for the reminder: I am only grading your essay; not grammar.

Hmm well honestly, its not that bad. If Im your instructor, I would give you a C (I spotted some grammatical flaws).

Expand your conclusion paragraph by adding some interesting and analytical details (say about 7 sentences more).

Fix your grammar by the way.

Do that an you are most likely to get a B, which is good though

Answer 2

seems good to me. Very well orginized. Very easy to read. Good vocab. all good.