Can someone read my new poem and let me know what they think?

Question

lately the sun's been hiding behind the clouds

and the rivers are extending their boundaries

the days pass easier with a symphony of pills

and the aid of your voice on my cell phone

forgive my shortage of character and courage

for my slumbers are spent reliving times i tried to forget

so lie to me, i don't believe in memories

the past is rewritten by what you say

i'll take your words as my past

and plan my future with lies that last

lately i've been searching for my treasure

please present yourself and take cover,

for the war has started with the enemies in my heart

their guns loaded with procrastination

and bombs disrupting the life of your great nation

you might as well surrender cause their not giving in

so lie to me, the truth is born from tragedy

the past will die from what you say

won't you take my life in your hands

and piece this mess into something we can try to understand

Answer 1

This is a heartrending, tragic poem about a person who would construct their reality based on lies rather than letting the "days pass easier with a symphony of pills".  I also have nightmares about my past, I can relate to that.  But I do not think "The past will die" from lies.  I thinkl it is the construction of new truths that set you free.  The last two lines are beautiful and would seem to lean toward finding a new truth.  I really appreciate this poem.  Thank you.

Answer 2

Wow that is a great poem! May i ask on what the poem was written about? It is a very great poem and it is very impressive.

Answer 3

the days pass easier with a symphony of pills

and the aid of your voice on my cell phone

I didnt find this part confusing, maybe I am wrong-coming from a person who suffers anxiety (me, myself), I find this person comes from great sadness and only a symphony of pills and the sound of a familiar voice makes the darkness go away even for just a short time

Its pretty good I think, I have a poem myself also--if you can drop a comment please do

Answer 4

it has a main theme and the point is easily seen but i think it went too complicated for me truthfully it doesn't matter if its complicated linguistics cause it just might be a metaphor interlaced in the lines. in all its simple yet confusing.

Answer 5

OMG SO BEAUTIFULLY NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Truly an enchanting and enjoyable poem with a meaning much deeper than revealed.

Answer 7

I must say - this is a pretty good poem. It's the best one I've personally read on here so far. Your word choice and wording in general is what makes this piece what it is. You used a couple of cliches, but the way they were worded made that forgiveable.

Your imagery was basic at parts, but effective due to your wording (again). You structured it pretty well, too.

It seems quite spoken-wordish. I enjoyed reading this.

Answer 8

the days pass easier with a symphony of pills

and the aid of your voice on my cell phone---

DONT GET THIS PART

AND IM CONFUSED ARE U TRYING TO REMEBER WHAT HE TELLS U OR FORGET IT.

LIKE ARE HIS STORYS GOOD OR BAD

BUT OTHER THAN THAT IT IS AMAZING

Answer 9

It takes a lot of patience and creativity to create a poem. I say- a job well done.

Answer 10

My creases on my forehead appear as I succumbed to temptation.Enlightened,my face lit up with a smile.All I could say is that,thee poem is so nice to read,however I am not as smart as you...THOU POEM IS VERY GOOD.

Answer 11

that is a gud poem

a gud vacab and gud creativity skill

Answer 12

it is such a good poem.

the words you used painted a picture in my head and that's because they were very descriptive!

is the poem you wrote linked to a real life situation???  sounds like it!!!  KEEP ON THE GREAT WRITING!!!