Can someone really be like this?

Question

Well, my mom doesn't really like the boy I like. I don't know why because she doesn't even know him. But she thinks he's playing me because when I liked this other guy, he tells me he likes me. So I stop liking the guy and go back to him thinking that he wanted to be with me. But he said that he doesn't want to go out with me just yet.

But anyway, my mom thinks that he thinks that no one else can have me, but he doesn't want to commit. Are some people really like this? If so why does he think no one else can have me?

Answer 1

I'm sorry to say, but I think your mom is probably right.  And here's why:

He tells you that he likes you, but he doesn't want to go out with you "just yet."  That's your big clue right there.  Because a guy who really likes you isn't going to wait around.  He'll want to be with you right now, and he won't take any chance of letting you getting away.  If this guy really liked you, he'd be jumping at the chance to ask you out, and he'd never let you go.

So why would a guy say he likes you, if he really doesn't?  Well, maybe he likes you a little bit, but he wants to shop around some, see if something better comes along.  If it doesn't, then he'll go ahead and take you.  You're his backup plan.  But he has to make sure you're still available, if and when he decides he wants you.  So he keeps stringing you along, telling you he likes you, giving you hope that he'll eventually ask you out.  

And maybe he will.  But do you really want a boyfriend who just thinks of you as a second choice or a last resort?  Of course not!  You want a guy who is so totally crazy about you that he'll do whatever it takes to be with you, because he can't go another minute without you.  And that's the kind of guy your mom wants for you, too.  

My advice is: keep this guy as a friend, but put any ideas of a bf/gf relationship behind you.  Go ahead and see other guys.  Let him see that you're a confident person knows what you're worth, and that you're not gonna wait around for someone who doesn't appreciate you.  Actually, that will make you much more attractive to him than if you just sit around waiting for him.  And who knows, maybe he'll change his mind and realize you're his number one choice after all.  And then YOU can decide whether you want him or not!

Answer 2

Listen to your gut. Only you can decide if this relationship is healthy or not.

When I was a teenager, this boy I liked did the same thing. I even broke up with my boyfriend to go out with this boy. I regretted doing that. I never lost sleep after finally getting rid of him.

Remember too...you are a teen. You won't find the love of your life that young (although some do). My real advice is to play the field. If he is doing this, then he isn't worth your time. Go out with other boys. If he starts following you around or calling non-stop, tell an adult. Your mom may be right that he does not want anyone else to have you. Be careful.  

Answer 3

U HAVE BEEN PLAYED.

It's ok we all have are ups and downs when it comes to making choices.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, your mom is right on this one and it sounds like you're being played.  You'll find a lot of guys play games like this.

Answer 5

homeboy playin u mama, i know many dudes who do this.he jus want u 4 himself he creepin round but he wants u as a side jawn whenever he feels he needs u

Answer 6

Since you're a teen, do you really have to date just one person?  Maybe date more than one...?