Can the bio. father of my son legally take him for the day to visit if he refuses to give me his address?

Question

He and I were never married, and he dumped me when my son was almost 1. He never tried much at all to be in his life. His parents were always the ones to make the effort to see him. Now he (at almost 30 years old) moved out of his parents house to move in with another girl he got pregnant. They have a 4 month old, and he all of a sudden wants to see him all the time, is being rude to me constantly, and refuses to give me his new address.

Answer 1

What is sad is that as two parents bicker over little c**p like this, they don't' pay attention to what they are teaching the child.

Learn to get along for the sake of your child, please. I work in Alternative Education, and these are issues that lead to your child coming to into a classroom like mine. Grow up!

Answer 2

I don't know what basis he would have for unsupervised visitation in a situation like yours, but I would let him get a court order and convince a judge that even though he dumped you both and now lives with another woman he impregnated, he really now wants to be a father to your child. But until he gets an order, you do not have to do anything to accommodate him, especially if you deem it unsafe for your child. And handing your son over to someone who won't even tell you where he lives is not something any caring mother would voluntarily do.

I wouldn't care what he says his rights are. Why would he expect you to let him take your child if he refuses to divulge his home address? I wouldn't, in those circumstances. I don't see how you can get into any trouble for refusing.  You're the custodial parent, and that is a COMPLETELY REASONABLE response on your part. Let Mr. Wonderful go to court.

But take care to secure your personal safety and that of your child. You know this man better than anyone else here. Good luck. That would be the only reason I would try to get along with him. But what kind of influence would he be on your son? If what you say is all true, he sounds like a bum.

Answer 3

Legally, no. You have to give the permission unless he's the legal father and given all paternal rights. If he doesn't have a right to custody of the son or never did, I'm pretty sure that it's not legal unless you know his address and give him the permish.

Answer 4

If thereis a court order for visitation, get it modified to specify the place of visitation.  If there is no order, tell him that he can get a court order or comply with your demands.

Answer 5

First of all, you are not your child's gatekeeper. He is not your child, exclusively. He is yours in concert with the father. Neither of you has any rights over the other. You cannot dictate the conditions under which his father sees him.

By facilitating relations with your son's father, you aren't doing the father any favors, you are helping your son. If you ever forget that or lose sight of that, you will be the one to suffer the consequences when your son is older. If his father is a dirtbag, let your son figure it out for himself. Otherwise, you will be the bad guy and he will build a fantasy about his father that you can never overcome. Sounds like you have been practicing the right attitude, so far.

Whether you were married or not means absolutely nothing; it doesn't warrant mentioning.

You have to understand how men are programmed before you judge them. Men never have much interest in babies. That's why they don't play with dolls. Men will always grow more attached to older children (verbal/ ambulatory) than they do to infants whether they live with them or not. That's called anthropology. You can't judge the father by that.

The best possible outcome for your son is for you and his father to get along amicably. Remember that you CHOSE him to have a baby with. If he is not dangerous to your child, then you have no say in how he conducts his life, keeps his house, etc., any more than he can dictate how you keep yours.

You can always get his address by following him when he picks up his son, btw.

EDIT: You have to love your son more than you hate his father.