Can they force you to get a pelvic exam?

Question

I'm only 16 years old and my mom wants me to get a pelvic exam because she found out I had s*x with my boyfriend.

I DON'T WANT TO!!

I know that I will eventually have to get one, but I feel that now is not that time. Maybe when I'm 18 I'll get one. It's just creepy thinking about a doctor sticking these things into me and feeling around!! Not yet at least, not while I'm still a minor. I don't trust doctors in today's society. No offense to anyone, I just don't. I will do it when I feel I'm ready and with my boyfriend in the room. I will feel more comfortable that way.

Can SHE OR ANYONE force me into getting one? Even when they think it's a health risk if I don't get one?

Answer 1

Certainly not if you're over 18.

Since you're 16, from a legal perspective it might depend on what state you're in (assuming you live in the US).  However, I doubt any doctor would want the liability of performing a pelvic exam on someone who has refused.  So refuse.  Loudly.  Make sure every single person in that doctor's office knows you do not consent.  Do not sign consent papers, do not wear a gown--heck, I say don't even walk on your own power into the examining room.  I seriously doubt any doctor would be crazy enough to try to lift you onto a table or hold you down.  If it takes screaming, scream.

Unless you're having some sort of problem, there's no medical reason to get a pelvic exam, even if you've had s*x.  STD screening can be done via urine or blood---you don't need a pelvic exam for that.  Pelvic exams have never been proven to have any benefit in asymptomatic people.  Pap tests do have a huge benefit--they prevent cervical cancer--but according to the American Cancer Society, you do not need a pap test until three years after you've had s*x, so you're not due for one unless you lost your virginity at 13.

"In a series of reports that began in 1989 and is still continuing, an expert committee sponsored by the federal Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, an arm of the Department of Health and Human Services, found little support for many of the tests commonly included in a typical physical exam for symptomless people.

It found no evidence, for example, that routine pelvic, rectal and testicular exams made any difference in overall survival rates for those with no symptoms of illness."

In most countries other than the US, women do not routinely get pelvic exams.

Answer 2

Make her get a woman doctor if you do go. Did you use condoms?  If so then there should be no health concerns.  However she may want you to get birth control pills, in which case, you would need to have one , so they say.  Other wise there is not a reason to just go poking around there. There are a lot of creepy doctors out there.    

Answer 3

id just do it... i dont like it either, i hate it. but do it now because its better....   just close your eyes and cringe till its over.....  get it overwith now and you wont have to dread it later.

Answer 4

maybe

Answer 5

No, you cannot be forced into a pelvic exam.

I know that they are awkward and aren't always comfortable, but its a big part of your personal health... especially once you have become sexually active.

"Sticking things in and feeling around" is the only way the exam can be done. It's not just about std's, etc but your ovaries, etc.

Could you at least face going to a doctor, even just to ask questions you might have privately? That way, you may become more comfortable with the doctor. After that, then decide whether or not to go ahead with an internal exam.

Answer 6

I don't think that she can force you.  She might be able to, but with a lot of work, involving the authorities, etc.

That said, I understand you are scared, but it isn't a scary thing.  it is more annoying than anything.  I suggest you request a female doctor.  There can also be someone in the room (not on the doctor's side, looking at you.) that can offer support and monitor the situation.  The doctor doesn't just "feel around" in a creepy way.  The doctor examines you like she might examine your nose.... she doesn't stick stuff up your nose and feel around weirdly, does she?  There are medical instruments used for a precise reason, and it is generally quick and painless.  Not exactly fun.... but not scary!

If you are sexually active, it is really important to get pelvic exams.  Having sexual intercourse is an adult decision you have made.  If you felt you were responsible enough for that, than you really should be responsible enough to do what is necessary to maintain good health!

Answer 7

no they can't, but once you become sexually active you should get one. i know its uncomfortable but its your personal health and if you aren't ready just wait until you are 18

Answer 8

Interesting how you consider yourself a minor for a pelvic exam but not for having s*x!

How long have you been having s*x? If it's been over 6 months then yes you should have one.

If you want to do adult things, then take responsibility :)

Answer 9

Hi there. I really understand where you're coming from. Unfortunately, like you said, you're going to have to have one sooner or later.... and now that you're sexually active, I am afraid it's going to be sooner rather than later. As you probably know, it is very important for your health to get regular gynecological check-ups when you're sexually active. I'm not going to give you all the nightmare scenarios, but I assure you that it is in your best interest to get a check up.

I know you don't want to hear this, but it's something you are going to have to deal with as a woman.

I have some tips for you that may make things easier for you. Personally, I never go to a male gynecologist. I feel much more comfortable going to a woman. There are some really kind, understanding, smart woman doctors out there. With the right doctor, believe it or not, it's about as weird or uncomfortable as going to the dentist. It's just a medical thing that has to be done, nothing else.  I would tell your mom that you'll do it, but only with a woman doctor. Tell this doctor that it's your first time and that you're scared, which is normal. I am sure if she knows that then she'll take it really slow, explain everything first and answer any questions that you may have.

So, here is my opinion: you are sexually active now, which is a big responsibility. If you are going to have s*x, then you need to learn how to take care of your body, as a woman. You also need look into contraception methods, because if you slip up once you're pregnant... and you'll have much more to deal with than just pelvic exams.

I know you're scared but you have to be strong about this. Go out there and trust in a woman doctor to respect you and also to help you decide on contraception.   Be strong, do what's right for you and your body.

I know this wasn't what you wanted to hear but I hope I've helped change your mind about this. I wish you lots of luck with this. Take it from somebody who was terrified of this before her first time: Don't worry, it's not so bad after all. You can do it!

Answer 10

Okay, here's the real deal.

I'm a mom and it sounds like there is a lot more going on here than just a worry about your "sexual health".

It sounds like your Mom is really worried about you.  She sounds like she cares about you all around and this is one area she can control...I would be very worried if my daughter was having s*x at 16...if I could be sure that she was healthy and safe, at least that would be one less worry that I would have.

Now, could you be forced to have a pelvic exam?  Even with a court order, it would be really tough.  That is, if they could even get a court order.

Should you get a pelvic exam anyway?  Yeah, you probably should.  Not only will it rule out any pre-existing problems, it is also important so that you can get good information on birth control...at 16, I'm betting that you really don't want to be a mom just yet, right?

Is it a great experience?  Eh, not huge laughs, but it's not horrible.  The truth is, the doctor giving the exam has done this 1000s of times before...you're really nothing special to him/her...there is really nothing that you have that they haven't seen before or won't see at the very next appointment.

Oh, one more thing...about the boyfriend.  Don't invite him to your first pelvic exam.  It's a really awkward time for you...worrying about his reaction to having another person (male or female) conducting an exam of your personal parts will make it worse for both of you.

Ask to have a nurse present.  It's quite acceptable (and common) for women to ask for an attendant.

Or, you know what, talk to your mom.  Once you clear the air over the whole s*x with your boyfriend thing, it may be a better place to start.

Good luck to you all.

Answer 11

im pretty sure she cannot force you

Answer 12

If you are not mature enough to get a pelvic exam, then it doesn't seem like you are mature enough to have s*x.