Ive been depressed this year. My reputation at school went down the drain , i last over 30 plus pounds, and gained a weak rep at school. Am 15 , dealing with a drug addicted mom, who is not the perfect role model for me.
peopel have seen my waekness, i had emotional outbrust, people know about my sucidal attempts, ppl know about the physical fights that happen at home..and i feel that this year, the guiys in my school have used all of this to thier advanatage..Guys in my school start pinching, shoving, grabbing me..and i fight back, but all that comes with that is more hitting from th em.
am scared for my life right now..& worried about this up coming year.
am so sick of being the vitcum..
I just want to run away from everythign..where i live right now is not doing me justice. I feel like i practically have to raise my self.
I need a mother figure..i dont have anyboady else to live with. And i dont even know who my dad is...
I have a older sister, who see everythign that happenign yet, i feel as if she does'nt care.
I been so isolated.., it the only way that i deal with the pain..
my emotions & feelings are all intense.
everywhere i go, am the center of attention..am that person that peole think got it bad, and build thier confidence over.
am that girl that peolpe take advantage of..am do freaking sick of the BS, that is happening..i have no support system..
i can't even get a job, because am only 15, turnign 16 in nov.
I dont thihnk ill ever be happy in highschool.
my rep is just bad, ppl think so negative of me, ant hat's bcuz i have'nt stood up for myself..
Am getting thepay next week for my depression.
I use be to such a smart, happy girl, who did'nt care about other thought. I knew whati wanted, did good in school, cared about what i looked like, but lately..i just dont care anymore.
am use to be such a smart 2 year back, but lately i changing..my mind is clouded, can't seem to think straight..cant hold conversation, been ioslated for a long time now..
any advice?
my step dad treats me badly also...
at times he calls me outside my name, and has even threaten me at one times or another when mom was'nt there..
i never told my mom about this.
i never have any fun..this is my youth years, and i feel like am 30 sumthing.
am a virgin, anly had one relationship whcih last 2 days..i want love, but i refuse to look for it in all the wrong places..but it so hard fighting the odds..
my school consulaer, teacher
they dont like me ethier based on my rep at school.
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